No More Faking Fine

  I had the privilege of receiving an Advance Reading Copy of the book No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece. The title is what intrigued me as I often feel like I am unable to be real about struggles or tough times in my life. I know that we need to be wise about who we share deeper things with but sometimes I get a little frustrated by the shallowness of many church relationships and interactions. I wondered if this book would talk about being more real in interpersonal relationships.

Created by Katie Gibson

  In the book Esther Fleece introduces us to the practice of lament, a prayer to God "giving voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment you've kept inside and silenced for too long." I was definitely intrigued to learn more about what it means to lament and the promise of increased intimacy with God and others. I really enjoyed the book and would like to share some of my favorite quotes.

God meets us where we are at and not where we pretend to be.

  I like this quote for several reasons. We are reminded that we do not have to clean ourselves up or reach a certain level of righteousness before God will accept us. God just wants our heart, regardless of its condition. He is the one that will work in us to make us more holy. This quote also reminds me that we can't hide anything from God. He sees the inner workings of our bodies. He knows all of our thoughts. There's no point pretending we're fine with God because he sees right through our pretenses. We are, therefore, free to be real and honest, even when it's raw and ugly.

What a kind God we have, who has warned us that pain in this life will come and has given us a language to relate to Him in the midst of it...When we begin to understand God as a God who weeps, we begin to see Him as someone safe to run to in the midst of our pain.

  It is actually comforting to be assured that pain is inevitable. We should not be surprised when hurts or challenges come. This world is broken and pain is one of the results of that. However, we can be confident in knowing that we can bring our hurts and struggles and negative emotions to him. He will not reject us or be offended. He loves us and wants us to bring him our pain so that he can provide healing.

We are going to have to stop comparing our pain to others and learn instead to take our pain directly to God, or we simply won't get anywhere..."It's not really a big deal" are words we will never hear out of the mouth of God.

  I know I am guilty of sometimes thinking that I have no right to be sad or complain because there are many people that have it worse than I do. There are probably people who would love to have my "problems" is sometimes the track in my head. But I was reminded that just because it might be small, it still exists and it still matters to God. He can heal things big and small. He just wants us to turn to him and come to the one who can comfort and heal.

Without the ability to fully lament, I also had no ability to fully forgive. And without forgiveness, I had no option but to live within my own vicious cycle of pain and bitterness.

  I like this reminder that we have to acknowledge our hurts and process them in order to be able to move into forgiveness. Many of us try to sweep things under the rug and avoid really looking at them and feeling our emotions because we don't want to deal with the pain. But ignoring it just allows the hurt to fester and bitterness to grow. Yes, the process of lament might be painful, but it's better than continuing to ignore an open wound.

I believe forgiveness to be just as much an act of God as His grace is. We need God's help to forgive, and we need a heavenly perspective to shift our focus off us and back on to God and His help. 

  I really loved the truth in this. I do often struggle with wanting to forgive but not really feeling like I am able. And here I am reminded that I am not supposed to try to do it alone, that it requires his help for true forgiveness. It comforts me to know that it's a partnership with God.

It takes courage to rest when the world sees productivity, full-throttle hustling, and chasing big dreams as things of ultimate value. It takes emotional and spiritual maturity to choose to opt out of these things temporarily and take care of your soul. 

  I struggled a lot last year with learning to rest. I always felt so unproductive and lazy. I am slowly learning that rest is necessary and can actually accomplish a lot of important stuff if I will trust God and his purposes. I am continuing to work on being wise with my time and activities this year. I have half-jokingly titled 2017 "The Year of Less".

  These were some of my favorite quotes from the book. It's official release date is this coming Tuesday, January 10th. If you pre-order it before then, there are a bunch of extra freebies for you. I would recommend making this part of your reading list for 2017!

Sometimes the Truth Hurts

  I've been posting lately mostly from what has been going on presently in my life. Today I shall continue with that trend. Once again I will be referencing the Seeking Him study. If you are looking to have an authentic, deeper relationship with God I highly recommend this book. It can be done on your own but it has been wonderful being able to talk about it in a group setting with other women.

  Week three of the study was about honesty. Honesty is what allows us to truly connect with God and others (honesty in connection with repentance in God's case). We can't really grow into the people we were created to be unless we are willing to be open about who we are. I know that I struggle with the desire to hide my sins and temptations. I want people to think that I am doing a-okay and have this God-thing down. I have the prideful desire to be seen as having it all together. The truth is that I don't.

Image by stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  At church we've been going through a series called Rise and Fall which follows the life of David. Our overarching verse for the series is 1 Corinthians 10:12, So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! It's been encouraging to be reminded that everyone has highs and lows. There is no one who is not susceptible to temptation. It is also hope giving to see that a mistake does not cut you off from God's plan for your life. It does not mean he can no longer use you. If you are willing to be honest about your mistake, confessing it to him in repentance, your relationship with God can be restored.

  In our honesty chapter two verses were given to us as reminders. Luke 12:2 There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. and Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

  These verses were brought to my mind last week when I found myself in a situation where I could be a woman of integrity and honesty or commit a sin of omission. The kids and I went to Family Christian to purchase a gift. While there I also picked up a few other things I couldn't seem to leave behind. I used a coupon which I was quite excited about. When I got home I looked over the receipt and noticed that two of the items I purchased had not been rung up. Part of me had this thought: Score! It's not your fault that the items didn't ring up so you can keep them. The part of me that is being changed through our study reminded me of the verses above and thought: Even if it wasn't your fault you have realized the error and you should correct it. There's a good chance I wouldn't have shared this dilemma with you if I had chosen not to take the stuff back to the store to pay for it. I was dreading taking the kids back again and spending more time on this errand I thought was finished. However, I did also see that this was a wonderful teaching opportunity for my three year old and I attempted to explain the situation in a way she could understand. [Full disclosure: This may not seem like a big issue to some, but I can be a little tight with money. I tend to jump on opportunities to save. Choosing to pay more money for something when I don't have to is uncomfortable and a stretch for me.]

  A similar circumstance happened a few years ago at a different store. I purchased a few things. It seemed to me that one did not ring up so I said this to the clerk and she said that everything was fine. I paid and went home. At home I looked over my receipt and saw that indeed the item did not get rung up. I did not return to the store to correct the error. At the time I rationalized this choice because I had said something to the clerk during the transaction.

  I am thankful that now my heart is being bent toward greater depths of honesty and integrity. I am not enjoying the random reminders of past instances of dishonesty or compromised integrity God is bringing to mind. They make me uncomfortable and a little disappointed in myself. However I can rejoice in the knowledge that the reminders afford me the opportunity for true repentance and forgiveness.


Do you ever struggle with honesty? The sin of omission? Do you find that, although God's work in your heart hurts at times, ultimately it brings joy and healing?