Living Life on Purpose

When my daughter was a toddler, I had a friend who had school aged children and was also a SAHM. She invited me and my daughter to come to her house every other week to let my daughter play with her girls' toys and allow me to talk to her about what was going on in my life. I felt very comfortable with her to share personal issues and to also ask her advice about parenting, marriage and faith. Her kindness was such a blessing to me. I remember while receiving this encouragement and support I thought that it was a ministry I would like to have once my children are older. Many SAHMS desire a welcoming, accepting place to share while embracing their current season as mothers of little ones.

While pregnant with my second child, this amazing woman and her family moved away. It was difficult for me to lose this close connection. My family and in-laws all live in different states from my family so our only local support is from friends we make here. 

I tried for awhile to find a replacement for my friend. I participated in mom groups and sought to deepen friendships with other women. It was nice to have people who could relate, but I still desired someone who could impart wisdom about the future and serve as proof that difficult seasons of parenting will pass. I spent a lot of time praying for an older woman mentor of sorts. 

Finally, at the beginning of this year, I decided I would choose to trust God to provide what I need in terms of relationships and in the meantime seek wisdom on my roles as woman, wife and mother from the source - the Bible. (I think God has really wanted me to seek him for this wisdom on how to live and thrive in these roles all along and it took me awhile to realize this.)

This decision also coincided with me feeling that I was reading my Bible as a checklist item and not really seeking to learn and apply what I was reading each morning. I wanted that to change so I decided to change my methods. Instead of trying to read a chapter each day to get through the entire Bible (my previous plan), I decided to study scriptures about my womanly roles. I chose to start with the illustrious Proverbs 31 woman we hear so much about. 

I am a journaler. Writing is how I process my thoughts. I decided that to truly study God's word and let it sink into my soul, I would take it slow and use my strengths. I began by writing out the verse I wished to study. Then I wrote out what I thought it meant and how I might be able to apply it. I ended with a prayer about the verse. Some verses were tough for me to determine a modern-day application. One particular verse I was so stumped, I did an online search to see what others had gleaned from the verse. I am trying to improve my ability to seek help when I need it. 

Once I was through those verses, I sought out other verses referencing these topics. I am currently focusing on what the Bible says about being a woman and a wife. I have verse references about children and parents for the next part of this dig into the Bible. 

Having used this method for more than two months now, it has not become rote. I think it's the amount of focus needed to write my thoughts. It has been so encouraging and inspiring to me that I am considering turning my pages into a devotional when I am finished. This declaration is a little scary as I struggle with having meaningful thoughts and/or wisdom to share with others. I know that God will work out the details if this is what I am supposed to do with this personal Bible study.

Recently, I received the opportunity to read and complete a Bible study about Biblical womanhood that another woman has written. I do not think it is coincidental that her study topic is what I have been delving into personally for a few months. I am very interested in reading about what she learned from her experience with the Scriptures. 

Now, Dear Reader, I have an opportunity for you as well. The author, Katie May Tramonte, has provided me with an additional copy of her Bible study, Gospel-Centered Womanhood, which I am able to give away to one of you! If you would like a chance to win this study, please leave a comment between now and April 6th. The winner (picked randomly) will be announced on April 7th. Good luck!

P.S. - If you're having trouble leaving a comment, please let me know so I can try to fix the issue!

Love and Good Books

Over the past couple of years, I have been desiring to live a life that is obedient to God and reflects the love and life of Christ. I have struggled with what that looks like and am slowly gaining understanding (and hopefully also beginning application of my understanding). In my search, I keep seeing and hearing the same pieces of scripture. 

The first section is found in Matthew 22. An expert in the law asked Jesus, "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (v.36). I feel like that's what I've been asking God. What is the most important thing to be doing as a Christian?

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ' Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (vs.37-40)

And there I have it. All of life can be boiled down to this: Love God. Love others. It sounds so simple and yet it is quite challenging. Love requires sacrifice and vulnerability and openness and second chances and time and resources. Love is not always convenient or easy or fun. But love is good and right and freeing 

I recently read something Jen Hatmaker had to say about loving our neighbor as ourselves. I hadn't really thought about the truth she shared but it definitely resonated with me. In her new book, For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards, she writes:

When Jesus said to "love your neighbor as yourself," I don't think He meant judgmentally; but that is exactly how we treat our own souls, so it bleeds out to others...We "love" people the way we "love" ourselves, and if we are not good enough, then no one is.

 You can only love and accept others as much as you yourself feel loved and accepted. You can't give what you don't have. In order to love others better, I must pursue God and let him fill me up with his love to pour out to others.

The other verse that has been written on my heart this past year is Micah 6:8: He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Throughout scripture we are implored to love and care for orphans and widows and the poor and disenfranchised. We are to champion the causes of the powerless, the weak, the hopeless. I feel like Micah 6:8 is encouraging us to seek to do right by and for these people groups. They are people God loves and desires to see cared for and loved tangibly here on earth.

I am still trying to figure out what that looks like expressed in my life. I am seeking opportunities to help others in addition to caring for my family. God is faithfully providing avenues to be of service while I try to see if I might have a larger, more consistent role in caring for others (right now having young children at home makes it tough to commit regular or large quantities of time to outside things).

I'm reading Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity (Also by Jen Hatmaker - I highly recommend reading her books. I've only read these two but I'm sure they're all fabulous and challenging.) which speaks a lot to this subject. I really don't want it to become one of those "good books I read" that had no actual impact on my life. I want my life to be different because of the things I learned in the book. The way God is working, I think it will.

In my mind all of this is related. Love God. Love others. Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. You know who this sounds like? Jesus.

Out in August. Pre-order at Amazon or B&N!

Breaking Out of the Christian Bubble

I am reading the book Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity by Jen Hatmaker with a group of women. We had our first meeting last night to discuss the first section in the book. I am already looking forward to future discussions.

One of the things that really stuck out to me from the book was when Jen talked about how she spent most of her time blessing blessed people and serving the saved. She's essentially talking about the Christian bubble. I know that I spend the majority of my time with like-minded people in terms of God.

My daughter in her own little bubble

I don't think that it's bad to spend time with other Christians. It's a great way to find encouragement and support. However, if every person I am with already loves and serves God then how am I fulfilling Jesus' desire for us to love the lost, hurt, disenfranchised, etc?

I am a SAHM so the best place for me to find such people would be through my kids - preschool, activities, play groups, playgrounds and play places. With the statistic that 85% of the people/families in the area do not attend church it shouldn't be too hard to find people who do not already have a strong relationship with Jesus.

I have several hang ups in pursuing others in this manner. First, I am more of an introvert. I don't usually strike up conversations with strangers. I'm sure if I felt compelled or a strong urging I could do it occasionally, but it's definitely not my strong suit (though I have recently found that God has been asking me to do things that are more of a weakness so that he can be the strength I need to achieve the goal). Probably at worst, the person would ignore me which is only a little awkward. At best, I might make a new friend. I think the awkwardness is probably worth the effort.

A second reservation is that it seems like I already am not able to spend enough time with all of the people in my life I'd like to spend time with. There are so many amazing people and I would love to get to know them all better and be more involved in their lives. As it is, the person I consider my best friend I have to schedule a decent ways in advance and we get to spend quality time together once or twice a month. Not that my schedule is packed with these kinds of meetings. There are, of course, family responsibilities - kid activities, cleaning, laundry, cooking, errands, family activities, etc - that require the majority of my time.

The thought of trying to cram one more thing into my schedule is a little overwhelming. I have considered scaling back and seeking God's leading for activities and meetings. Most of my current things are good things, but too many good things doesn't necessarily mean better or best. So while less does not necessarily appeal to me, it may be what I need in this season. Perhaps less trying to connect with everyone and seeking God's leading for the most important things. Maybe I should be like Jen and figure out who "my people" are. Then maybe there will be room for the important work of loving and serving those who don't know Jesus or have a thriving relationship with him (which, in the end, may not really feel like work).

A third thing that causes me to pause when considering reaching out to people who may not know Jesus is the thought that I will not be able to give satisfying answers to questions they may have. I love God and know that he exists. A large part of my belief comes from personal experience. My faith does not come from receiving a logical and/or scientific explanation for all my objections. I still have questions without answers.

I know that there are many intellectual people out there who want these kinds of reasoning and logic to help them make a decision for or against God. I had a good friend in college who was this way. I felt quite inadequate in my ability to provide a compelling case for my beliefs. In the end, God used my contributions of love and acceptance for his purposes.

I ought to remember this experience that illustrates well that it is not me who will cause another's belief. It will ultimately be God working in a person's heart and that person's own encounters with God. My role is to live what I believe and be open to sharing my experiences with others. The rest is up to God.

And perhaps that is how I ought to live each day - open to encounters God may have for me. Choosing to be open to anything and not staying doggedly focused on my own agenda or to do list. To trust that seeking God will help me to choose what is needed. What is better.