Living Life on Purpose

When my daughter was a toddler, I had a friend who had school aged children and was also a SAHM. She invited me and my daughter to come to her house every other week to let my daughter play with her girls' toys and allow me to talk to her about what was going on in my life. I felt very comfortable with her to share personal issues and to also ask her advice about parenting, marriage and faith. Her kindness was such a blessing to me. I remember while receiving this encouragement and support I thought that it was a ministry I would like to have once my children are older. Many SAHMS desire a welcoming, accepting place to share while embracing their current season as mothers of little ones.

While pregnant with my second child, this amazing woman and her family moved away. It was difficult for me to lose this close connection. My family and in-laws all live in different states from my family so our only local support is from friends we make here. 

I tried for awhile to find a replacement for my friend. I participated in mom groups and sought to deepen friendships with other women. It was nice to have people who could relate, but I still desired someone who could impart wisdom about the future and serve as proof that difficult seasons of parenting will pass. I spent a lot of time praying for an older woman mentor of sorts. 

Finally, at the beginning of this year, I decided I would choose to trust God to provide what I need in terms of relationships and in the meantime seek wisdom on my roles as woman, wife and mother from the source - the Bible. (I think God has really wanted me to seek him for this wisdom on how to live and thrive in these roles all along and it took me awhile to realize this.)

This decision also coincided with me feeling that I was reading my Bible as a checklist item and not really seeking to learn and apply what I was reading each morning. I wanted that to change so I decided to change my methods. Instead of trying to read a chapter each day to get through the entire Bible (my previous plan), I decided to study scriptures about my womanly roles. I chose to start with the illustrious Proverbs 31 woman we hear so much about. 

I am a journaler. Writing is how I process my thoughts. I decided that to truly study God's word and let it sink into my soul, I would take it slow and use my strengths. I began by writing out the verse I wished to study. Then I wrote out what I thought it meant and how I might be able to apply it. I ended with a prayer about the verse. Some verses were tough for me to determine a modern-day application. One particular verse I was so stumped, I did an online search to see what others had gleaned from the verse. I am trying to improve my ability to seek help when I need it. 

Once I was through those verses, I sought out other verses referencing these topics. I am currently focusing on what the Bible says about being a woman and a wife. I have verse references about children and parents for the next part of this dig into the Bible. 

Having used this method for more than two months now, it has not become rote. I think it's the amount of focus needed to write my thoughts. It has been so encouraging and inspiring to me that I am considering turning my pages into a devotional when I am finished. This declaration is a little scary as I struggle with having meaningful thoughts and/or wisdom to share with others. I know that God will work out the details if this is what I am supposed to do with this personal Bible study.

Recently, I received the opportunity to read and complete a Bible study about Biblical womanhood that another woman has written. I do not think it is coincidental that her study topic is what I have been delving into personally for a few months. I am very interested in reading about what she learned from her experience with the Scriptures. 

Now, Dear Reader, I have an opportunity for you as well. The author, Katie May Tramonte, has provided me with an additional copy of her Bible study, Gospel-Centered Womanhood, which I am able to give away to one of you! If you would like a chance to win this study, please leave a comment between now and April 6th. The winner (picked randomly) will be announced on April 7th. Good luck!

P.S. - If you're having trouble leaving a comment, please let me know so I can try to fix the issue!

Daily Grace

Our Wednesday morning Bible study, Seeking Him, has a workbook that asks very revealing questions. Through it I have been receiving a more accurate picture of myself. It has helped me to acknowledge my shortcomings which has been quite humbling. However, it has not left me to wallow in the corruptness of my character.

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A few weeks ago the topic of our study was grace. I realized that I understood the concept of Jesus' saving grace but had failed to grasp God's daily grace. I have often struggled to live the Christian life in my own power not realizing that I am not equipped to do so. Every time I have tried to "become a better person" on my own, I have failed. God's grace reminds me that I cannot be a Christian without Christ. Not just accepting Jesus as my Savior and then continuing on in my own power but instead asking him each day to give me his grace and fill me with his power to do the things God has called me to do through his Word.

A verse from that week helped connect it all together for me. Philippians 2:13 says God is the one who enables you both to want and to actually live out his good purposes. (CEB) It is so freeing to realize that it is God who first gives me the desire to do what is pleasing to him and then provides the power and ability to do so. If I am not asking him to do these things for me then I am trying to do them myself and am living with the mentality that I have to do things in order to be pleasing to God. The fact is that I am already pleasing to him because Jesus' blood covers me. 

Now I am not saying that I can continue to do whatever I want because it is God who has to change me. I still need to be looking for his guidance and seeking to live according to what he has told me through his Word. At the same time I don't have to beat myself up every time I fail in some aspect. I can be confident that God is working these things out in me. Paul reminds us that God's work in us will be finished at the proper time in Philippians 1:6 - being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Have you fully grasped the significance of God's grace in your daily life?

A Lesson in Humility

The past two Sundays I have received encouragement from God during church (written about previously here and here). As I prepared for church this past Sunday I looked forward to what God would reveal to me that morning. I do realize that I should probably approach every day looking for God to speak truth to me - I'm a work in progress. It seems that am beginning a season where I feel more open to God and am trying to have a heart that is tender toward him.

Two weeks ago I started attending the women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings. We are doing a study called Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom. The first week was an introduction to what revival means. The fifth day of the personal study gave an assessment to show us areas in our lives where we could use God to work. It was quite revealing. One of the first areas where I was convicted was in humility.

I don't really consider myself a boastful person. I am an introvert so I don't tend to take over conversations or talk about everything I have done and am doing. However I don't necessarily rejoice with those who are receiving accolades and success and sometimes I ruminate when my contributions are not acknowledged. So, naturally, week two of the study is all about humility.

I am actually glad that this topic is dealt with more in depth. It has allowed me to see ways that pride (the opposite of humility) is manifested in my life. My pride tends to deal with my self-image and what I allow others to see (or how I want others to see me). I am guilty of trying to do as much as possible on my own so that I can be the one who "does it all". I'm not good at asking for help or depending on others. I struggle with being open about my mistakes because I fear others will judge me harshly. I tend to compare various aspects of myself with others.

What ought I to be doing instead? Being open to others and asking for help when needed. Admitting my mistakes, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation when I wrong others or others wrong me and finding my worth in Christ. I was not created to be another Christy or Tracy or Amanda. I was created for a unique purpose. And I wasn't made to be perfect or faultless. If I was, I'd have no need for grace or Jesus.

Now back to Sunday morning. I am not a very demonstrative person. For the last couple of weeks I have been thinking that I should lift my hands some when singing praise songs to God in church. Not because others are but because I want to show my love for and devotion to God. It has been an internal struggle because part of me feels foolish and thinks it might draw attention (the introvert in me). However, I realized on Sunday while singing that it was part pride as well. I was concerned with what others would think. Was I at church to please other people? No. Was I singing for the benefit of other people? No. (By the by, it has taken me quite a few years to feel comfortable singing out loud with other people. I'm still not completely there but it doesn't really hinder me like it used to. Not that this means I'll do any kind of solo singing for anyone other than my kids either.) So I spent a good part of the music time debating whether or not to raise my arms. It carried into the message time. I affirmed to myself, "If there's music at the end of the service (there nearly always is) I'll raise my hands then."

We finished the time of communion after the message and the band began to play. "Okay," I said to myself, "the moment of truth." And then we sang this part of Hillsong United's "The Stand":

I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the one who gave it all

I'll stand

My soul Lord to you surrendered

All I am is yours

I laughed to myself at the absurdity of my conundrum. God is so good and faithful! I raised my arms to about chest level with palms up. That may not seem like much but it's a huge step for me. I know God will continue to meet me where I am and lead me to where he wants me to go. My job is to continue to acknowledge his promptings, confess any sin that is revealed, repent, and take steps forward.


How is God working in your life right now? Do you also struggle with humility? Trust God and take that first step toward where he is calling you!