No one likes to be called a quitter. It has a decidedly negative connotation. It’s a word used to try to cajole others into continuing to persevere through a course of action. People continue on in an endeavor or commitment even when they might not think it the best decision for them because they fear being labeled a quitter. Why is quitting such a shameful thing?
Sometimes
quitting means realizing the futility of a specific task or path and choosing to go a
different route. It’s admitting that there is nothing good to be had in
continuing. There are a number of things that are good to quit: toxic
relationships, unhealthy eating habits, lying, stealing, addiction, a job you
hate that sucks the life out of you. In this context, quitting is a good, brave
thing.
There are some
habits and thought patterns in my own life that I would be better off without. In these instances I believe quitting would be healthy and brave and beneficial. Today I want to
share with you five things I’m going to work on quitting.
1) Allowing fear to dictate my actions.
I tend to overanalyze situations and decisions. I think
about possible outcomes and the reaction that might come from them. I allow
what someone might think or say about
me to keep me from doing what I believe to be what is needed. What I need to do
is be true to what I believe is right and not worry about how it might be
received by others. I can’t control what others think or do and I shouldn’t
allow a perceived reaction to hold me back.
I also allow fear
to keep me from taking steps toward accomplishing my goals and dreams. Part of
the fear is criticism and rejection from others. The other part is negative
self-talk that I am not qualified or smart enough or influential enough to
write and publish an article or book. Who am I to think someone would pay for
my thoughts and advice? If I never step out of my comfort zone and push through
the fear, I won’t get to the satisfaction of trying and, perhaps, even
succeeding. Fear wants to keep me ineffective. It wants to keep me from
reaching out to others and perhaps encourage them with my words and
experiences. What a shame if I allow fear to keep me immobilized.
2)
Trying to
control everything about my life.
I am a planner and scheduler. I like to know what’s going
on in my daily/weekly schedule. I have tended to take the initiative to reach
out to anyone I was interested in getting to know to set up a meeting or play
date (depending on whether they have children). I have gotten overwhelmed,
overscheduled, and burned out on a number of occasions. God has been working in
me to learn to rest and to trust him with my life (schedules, relationships,
etc). It’s still very much a work in progress but I have enjoyed a less structured, more leisurely schedule the past few months.
3) Self-condemnation/negative self-talk.
I’m sure many of
us have that unkind voice inside of us that tells us that we are not enough. It
likes to remind us of our flaws and failures. It tries to undermine our
self-confidence. I believe it is related to perfectionistic tendencies.
Something inside of us wants to be perfect and above reproach and we chastise ourselves
when we show our humanness. I have struggled for years with my perfectionism. I
am slowly accepting that it is not possible and I am only asked to show up and
give what I have, whether that is much or little. If I approach each day open
and willing to work diligently and with my whole heart, that’s the best I can
do and it is enough.
4) Pretending I have it all together.
I think this kind of ties in with all of the above. I am
afraid that if I show my flaws that I might be ridiculed or judged or rejected.
Pretending I have no issues or needs is like a cocoon of protection. But just
as it keeps hurt out, it also keeps love and acceptance from getting in as
well. We all know no one is perfect but we like to act like we’re the only ones
who have made mistakes or have scars from past experiences. I have learned that
being open allows others to do the same and am working on putting down my
self-protection front of pretending to be okay all of the time.
5)
Judging
other people.
I know that this is addressed in the Bible and is not a
desirable trait but I still fall into this trap and it affects my attitude and words. I have read and know
personally that we often judge others about things we know we struggle with as
well. We tend to judge others to make ourselves feel better or more superior. However, judging doesn’t benefit
anyone. It doesn’t improve my relationships with others. What I would prefer to
do is to trust that everyone is doing the best they can. Everyone has a bad day
and that might be the day I cross their path. I am not always observant of
what’s around me and not considering those around me which may cause me to inconvenience or annoy someone else. If I can give myself
grace, I ought to give others grace as well.
So these are five things I would like to work on
quitting. Is there anything you would like to quit? If you’d like to read what
other people are saying, head over to mrsdisciple.com.
