Pretending I'm Famous: My Imaginary Interview on The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey Podcast

I had received several recommendations about the podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey. I decided to download one and listen to it while I was on the elliptical machine at the gym. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's like listening to a couple of your girlfriends talk about life, things they are passionate about right now and what God's doing in their lives. Most of these shows are between forty-five minutes and one hour fifteen minutes. The interviews are with some well-known women and women Jamie knows or has heard of but maybe are not in the public eye as much.

Recently Jamie started some bonus happy hour episodes that are thirty minutes in length and posted every few Fridays. They are often follow up interviews of people she has previously interviewed. She usually asks each person a similar set of questions.

The interviews seem like so much fun. It'd be neat to be a guest on her podcast but I don't really do anything that would warrant me the opportunity - I'm a regular SAHM not doing anything particularly noteworthy or groundbreaking.

But today is my birthday so I thought I'd have a little fun. I wrote down the questions she asked on one of the bonus episodes and thought it'd be fun to answer them like I really was a guest on her show. Here goes...

Pretend Jamie Ivey: Welcome to The Happy Half-Hour with Jamie Ivey! My guest today is Megan Byrd.

Me: I'm so excited to be here with you! I'm a little nervous about a live/recorded event but they seem like so much fun that I thought it would be fun to participate.

PJI: For those who don't know who you are. give us a little snippet of your life.

Me: I am a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) of two kids, a six-year-old and a three-year-old. I've been married to my husband, Adam, for almost ten years and we live in Acworth, Georgia, just outside of Atlanta.

PJI: What is something you've read, watched or heard recently that you cannot stop recommending to other people? Answer one or all three.

Me: Your podcast has been the thing I've been listening to that I think all of my women friends should check out. I get something from every episode, most notably book recommendations. I love reading so it's a great way to add to my to-read list and be confident it will be a worthwhile read!
   Speaking of books, I recently read Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. It is hilarious! It also speaks truthfully about mental illness and provides wisdom and insight for the rest of this. I love books that cause me to laugh, think and learn. I would like to warn that there is some language in the book that others might not care for.
  I also recently read and enjoyed Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty. I have read three of her books thus far and this has been my favorite. At the beginning you find out that there is a murder and then the book jumps back six months to introduce you to the characters. I spent most of the book trying to figure out who died and who killed them. I changed my guess several times but ended up being completely wrong. It was great!
  I don't watch a lot of television. My husband and I tend to stick to comedy shows to lighten our week and he usually is the one that introduces me to them. Probably my favorite of the current shows we watch is Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Andy Samberg is one of the main characters and I thought he was funny on Saturday Night Live. I thought it was going to be a dumb buddy-cop show but I watched the first episode and laughed throughout the whole thing. The whole cast is amazing and hilarious. Andre Braugher is amazing as Captain Holt. It's just fun and silly and also heart-warming in moments. I can't wait for the next season!

PJI: How do you recharge? What does that look like for you?

Me: As a SAHM without family around, this has been a struggle for me. I actually recently asked this same question to a new acquaintance of mine, asking her to recall what she did when she was raising her children. She helped me to get a better picture of what recharging looks like for me. Exercising is a big factor in my emotional and physical health. I have made sure my kids have kept an afternoon rest time most days (now that they no longer nap consistently) so that I can have an hour to an hour and a half to do something I enjoy, usually reading, praying and/or writing. Occasionally I'll take a nap if I'm feeling particularly tired. I have sometimes used this time to do chores around the house and I have realized that not using my "free time" wisely hinders my ability to be a patient, considerate, loving mom and wife the remainder of the day.
     I dream of having an entire day to myself where I can focus on being in nature and spending time in quiet solitude praying, writing and reading. It sounds so amazing to me! As an introvert, I need periods of quiet to recharge (hence my kids' Quiet Room Time).

PJI: What's a specific app, gadget or piece of technology that you cannot live without and why?

Me: My kindle. I LOVE to read and I think it's great that I can have a bunch of books in one place and it takes up limited space in my bag or suitcase. I can get books from the library or Amazon without having to leave the house. My kindle case has a book light which makes for easy reading in bed (yes, I have an older, non-backlit one but I use it daily).

PJI: What's a dream that you had when you were young that you've had to let go of?

Me: For awhile growing up I wanted to be an architect, but not just an architect. I already had the traveling bug so I wanted to live in an RV so that I could travel around the country designing buildings. I don't know if that was a very realistic dream, probably because I wasn't really equipped with the skills to be an architect, but it was fun to think about for awhile. I don't know that I ever thought it would actually happen.
      I think I'm very risk-averse so I don't know that I really dream big or pursue things that require a lot of risk. In college, I thought about going to graduate school for counseling but was concerned about having a student loan so I didn't ever finish the application process. I know it would still be possible to acquire a master's but it's not a strong desire of mine at this time. So, sadly to say, I can't really think of big dreams I had when I was younger that were not able to come true.
     I do think that I am growing in my ability to dream. I recently pondered this and realized that I do dream of being a writer who is compensated for her work. It has been a little scary putting that out there because sharing dreams requires vulnerability and there is the risk of failure or it not coming true.

PJI: When you think of your good friends, what are some characteristics of these people that make them so special to you?

Me: The special people in my life ask me questions. Asking me about what's going on let's me know that they are interested in me as a person and have remembered things we've talked about in the past. I am someone who many people see as a good listener and someone they can confide in. Often, people share with me but do not ask me questions and so it feels like a one-sided relationship.
        They also initiate contact with me sometimes so that I am not the only one asking to hang out. Not having family around I have learned that I have to reach out to have community but it gets tiring when it's not reciprocated so I really appreciate those who also seek to spend time with me.
         I think the underlying theme is wanting to feel important and known by others. When I feel these things then it increases my affection for the person contributing to these desires.

PJI: What's some of the best advice you've ever received?

Me: Take time for yourself. Do things that refresh you and help you reconnect to yourself.

       This was really easy to do when I was single and then married without kids. Once I became a mother I kind of lost myself in the change. One of the biggest adjustments of motherhood is becoming less selfish in order to give so much care to a helpless, fully dependent new family member. I was no longer able to spend time wandering around by myself doing whatever on the weekends or spending relaxed, unhurried time reading and writing. I had to schedule small bits of self-care into the day when it was possible (and some days it was not possible) and it was (and still is) a struggle to do that well.
      The biggest struggle for me is feeling guilty for doing something for myself or for wanting to spend some time away from my kids or family. I think most parents struggle with this guilt of wanting to give your family all that you can but knowing that you will become burned out if you don't refresh yourself away from your family responsibilities.
      Parenthood also changes the married relationship a lot. Those first few years of a child's life make yours very tiring and blurry. You can forget to purposefully and meaningfully connect with your spouse, something else that is also very important.
     Self-care and marriage-care are both very important pieces of a thriving family. I am continuing to learn how to do these things better. As we've risen out of the fog of babies and toddlers I see more and more the importance of doing things that I enjoy, doing things that we enjoy as a couple, and doing things away from the kids. It will benefit our kids as they get older and enter marriage and family life if they can see us successfully navigating these areas of life.

PJI: What is one thing you do that is directly tied to your success? Or what does success look like to/for you?

Me: I don't feel like I have achieved a particular success. Perhaps that's why I like the question which asks me to define success. I think at this point in my life, success is having a husband and children who know they are loved, cherished and appreciated. Success is knowing that I am using my gifts and abilities to honor God and serve others (loving and encouraging others with my writing).

PJI: What is something you're really excited about right now?

Me: I am really excited about spending time with family over the next six weeks or so. Living away from family, I really cherish those times we are together and able to connect. We will be spending the next week and a half around various members of my husband's family which will be fun for the kids and allow me little pockets of free time and a change in routine. In a few weeks we'll fly out to my family to spend a few weeks with them. I see my parents about twice per year and extended family usually only when we are visiting my parents in the summer so I really try to soak in that time. I'm excited that this family time is almost here! It also means school will be out (we're in our last week) and I am soooo ready to sleep in and have a looser schedule!

PJI: What is a pet peeve of yours?

Me: I feel annoyed at people who are chronically late. Pre-kids I was nearly always early and it probably bothered me a lot more. Now I have days where we are a few minutes late because it's hard to get everyone wrangled and out the door at the proper time so I have more empathy for other parents. I usually try to build in ten to fifteen minutes to get the kids ready but it isn't always enough. I know firsthand that anything and everything can happen when you're trying to get out of the house with children to an event that has a specific start time.

PJI: Thanks for joining me on this Happy Half-Hour! 

Me: Thank you for letting me participate. It was fun answering the questions!



Has there been a show or podcast that you thought it would be fun to be a guest on? If so, I'd love to hear about it. (When I was a kid I really wanted to be on the Nickelodeon game shows - Legends of the Hidden Temple, Double Dare, Guts.)

Dreaming With an Open Heart

I have been thinking recently about dreams I have for my life, things I would love to do or to happen. I know we sometimes equate dreams with goals or bucket list items, but I believe those are all slightly different.

Goals are things I want to achieve and will take deliberate steps to accomplish. Some dreams could be labeled as goals but, often, dreams require more than just our own efforts to accomplish. Goals are measurable and you can usually determine ahead of time if you have the necessary resources to accomplish them. Yes, work is also required on our part for dreams, but even if we do all that we can, it doesn't mean the dream will be realized.

Bucket lists, to me, are kind of like fun to-do lists. Perhaps some people's bucket lists are lists of dreams but I think mine would most resemble a world map or adventure itinerary.

To me, dreams are heart-driven desires. I am more nervous about sharing my dreams than my bucket list because they are revealing and vulnerable. They tell others a lot about my heart. I have been thinking and praying a lot about it and have decided to share my dreams with you. I believe that bringing them out in the open where others can see them will allow God more room to move in these areas. He reminded me recently that the dreams he has placed in my heart (and, honestly, I don't know for certain which dreams are God-led and which are my own selfish ones), he will water and grow so that they will come to fruition at the proper time.

So, in no particular order, my current dreams:

• To be a writer (technically I am a writer now, but I am referring to receiving payment/compensation for my work)
• To write and publish another book (it'd be awesome to have an actual publishing house do it - see above dream)
• To go on a solo weekend retreat somewhere I can pray, see nature, read, write, be quiet and think (I've heard about monastic retreats which appeal to me)
• To attend She Speaks Conference, the writer/speaker conference held every July in Concord, NC
• A vacation with just my husband to a beach/island with great scuba diving
• A couple/family or several couples/families for true community (we like each other, enjoy each other's company, can share real/hard things and all make efforts to spend time together regularly)
• My kids to choose Jesus and desire to live for him (they are currently 6 and 3 but this is my number one desire for them)

There you have it. I don't know of any one thing listed that will happen this year. Next year, several have promise. I suppose that's part of why they are dreams. I know they are all possible but some of them I am powerless for them to happen (yes, I may have influence but I can't accomplish them in my own power) and so there is plenty of room for God to work. I am hoping and believing that all of these things will happen.

Are you willing to share some of your heart dreams with me? Are any of the dreams listed also on your heart as well? I'd love to know there is a kindred spirit out there. Together we can pray for God's work and provision for our dreams.

A Letter to My 18-Year-Old Self

Dear Eighteen-Year-Old Me,

Hello there! It's me, your 33-year-old self. It's been nearly sixteen years since you graduated high school and began preparing for college life. I know you are very excited to see what the next chapter of life would hold. I'm sure you are a little nervous venturing out on your own, especially knowing your parents will be 10+ hours away. Of course, you have been somewhat prepared for this having spent the majority of your summers away from your parents visiting relatives. It's just one more new adventure!

I know that you are not sure what you should study but have signed up for the engineering track at the suggestion of your parents. You will end up taking many more math and science classes than you end up needing for graduation when you finally find majors that best suit your wiring, but there will be a big upside to having taken engineering classes (specifically Statistics for Engineers). You don't know it yet, but that class will profoundly and positively impact your life.

If I could truly go back and offer you some advice before you begin your time at N.C. State (which you love, by the way), here is a part of what I would want to say.

Just because someone shows interest in dating you, it doesn't mean that's a relationship you need to pursue. I know you've only really dated one person thus far but not all relationships will be as positive and healthy as that one was. You need to work on deepening your relationship with Jesus and seeking him. God loves you dearly. He has a purpose for you that he will fulfill. Whether or not you end up with a spouse, God's plans will be better than anything you can imagine. If you have the desire for a husband, give it to him in prayer and trust him to provide in his timing. God is faithful and trustworthy.

Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ and his church. Any dating relationship you have should be characterized by respect, love, grace and selflessness (from both of you). Here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself when considering a dating relationship. Does he love God? Does he attend church? Pray and read his Bible regularly? Is he involved in a Christian group, Bible study or other activity to deepen his relationship with Christ? (Experience will tell you that behavior is the best indicator of what someone believes.) Does he treat you with respect? Does he listen to and value your opinion? Does he try to push physical boundaries? Does he desire to see you grow and succeed? Will he encourage you in your relationship with Christ?

It is very important for you to answer the questions asked above about yourself. You are young in your faith and have a lot of growing to do. If you seek to grow closer to God and join activities that will encourage you in this way, you will flourish. Ask God to help you find these things. He will provide some amazing friends, connections and experiences.

I know that I cannot go back and change what you will experience, but I hope that what you learn can help other young women as they prepare for their own college career. To that extent, I wrote a book for college-age women (info below). I hope that they will learn from your experiences and avoid some of your mistakes. I have some sorrow and regret over choices made during college but, praise God, he has brought good from it!

Don't worry, you will have a fabulous time and meet some great people that you will still keep up with when you're my age (mostly thanks to the invention of Facebook that is not yet an idea in Mark Z's head). Your mistakes will not be fatal. You will learn, grow and change. You will become much more confident and self-assured as you age. You will also acquire a lot more responsibility so enjoy your relatively tether-free time in college!

Love,
Thirty-three-year-old Me

Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman

Will you head off to college soon? Or perhaps you've already started at a university and found the going a little rough? Have you prepared yourself for all that you may experience, both on-campus and off? Do you know how to strengthen your faith and locate resources to help draw you closer to God? Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman can help you prepare for campus life. In this book, you'll learn about... 

• Strengthening your relationship with God
• The importance of finding a Christian group on campus 
• The different types of guys you will encounter 
• What to do if you mess up 
• Potential stumbling blocks to your faith and your relationships 
• Straight talk about sex 

Through reading candid, real-life stories and advice from Christian women about their time at college, you'll discover that you're not the only one facing challenges and struggles on campus. Even more importantly, you'll learn about great opportunities for redemption, success, and a rich adventure with God.


If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman, please email me at  mybyrdlife at gmail.com. Copies are $10 each. Shipping is $3 (free if you're local and we can meet in person). Thanks!