That Time I Applied for Jen Hatmaker's Book Launch Team

One year ago today I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a link to an application to apply for a spot on a book launch team to read and promote Jen Hatmaker's new book coming out in the fall. I was in the process of reading Interrupted with a small group of women and was enjoying her candid and conversational writing style as well as her message. I had also read a couple of her viral blog posts I heard about on the Today Show and liked them so I thought, why not? I saw that there were only 500 spots and I knew she had a ton of followers so I thought my chances were small. Still, I figure you can't win if you don't apply. So I did.

Then I heard that five thousand(!) people had applied for the five hundred spots and calculated my odds (better than the lottery, right?). I didn't really think much more about it until I received an email on March 10th that started out, Knock, knock. Who's there? YOU, because YOU are on my Launch Team for 'For the Love'!!

I was thrilled! I texted my friend who I knew had also applied to see if she had received the email. Unfortunately she hadn't and it dampened my enthusiasm as I didn't want to feel like I was rubbing it in her face (it's a struggle to be happy about an experience when you know someone else might not be). I joined the Facebook page for the launch team and that's when the craziness began.

Everyone was so thrilled to be in it and sharing their information to see if they knew anyone else or lived close to another Launch Team Member. I found out there were a few other people in Georgia, a few in Atlanta and a few OTP. I didn't meet any of them until September (we'll get there).

As I'm an introvert who doesn't generally post a ton about life online (yet I have a blog, I know) I spent most of my time reading the posts but not contributing. People soon began sharing prayer requests and life events with the group and everything was met with love and grace and kindness. It is the most positive part of the internet I've ever experienced! I know that if I ever need some encouragement or support I could head there.

We all received electronic copies of the book, followed by an unedited paperback a few weeks later, to begin reading it so that we could post reviews and talk about it in our various social groups. I found that part to be pretty easy because I enjoyed the book so much.

Apparently most everyone else did as well. The creative members started making graphics to promote the book. Then it branched into coffee mugs and tshirts. I can't remember all of the neat things that were made as a result of this book. I got a little into the creative aspect and replicated someone else's idea of putting a quote on canvas. I made two, one for each of my kids' rooms.

Very early in the group's existence someone suggested we have a Launch Team Party at Jen Hatmaker's house after the book came out. Everyone loved the idea though many considered it a ridiculously impossible one. But the impossible can happen. Jen actually agreed to the idea (with the stipulation that she didn't have to do anything but show up) and a group of women volunteered to take on the task of making the party a reality. Yet another amazing surprise! 

When I learned the date of the party I was both excited and apprehensive. The idea of getting to meet Jen and a bunch of the ladies I had been praying for and learning about seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of event. But, of course, it was also a huge party filled with strangers (not my favorite) and the pesky detail of paying for flights, hotel and rental car. I waffled a bit until my husband said I should go for it. And I did. I ended up making a short trip, long enough for the party, a little exploring of Austin/Buda, and a visit to ANC (the Hatmakers' church I became familiar with through Interrupted). 

Made it to Texas!

Waiting on the shuttles to take us to the party

Anyone else watch My Big Family Renovation on HGTV? Just me? Okay.

Wish I could recall our conversation.

Obligatory photo op (she was so gracious to talk to each of us!)

One of the cool things about the group is that there are so many women with passion to help with various social justice issues and causes and using their talents to support them. The shirts and coffee mugs had the profits donated to organizations such as Help One Now. Some make cuffs, jewelry and other goods and donate some proceeds to charities. When the party was announced there were women who wanted to go but could not financially afford it and the group created a scholarship program to get everyone there - and we all banded together and gave money to make sure everyone did! The group has raised money to buy a high school senior a car, supported adoption fundraisers, replaced a blogger's laptop, started writing groups and helped launch other books (I did a few others, though none of the experiences equaled this one).

I am so encouraged and inspired with how passionate everyone is and how so many people are doing what they can to make the world a better place for someone! I feel like they are all out of my league. But we all have different life seasons and different passions and I can cheer all of these ladies on as I focus on raising my kids with service and giving when I can (and remembering the widow's mite story that it's not really what we give, it's our heart behind the giving). 

I am so amazed at everything that has come out of one little book launch group. It's also cool that many of the people not selected dubbed themselves #the4500 and are also doing many great things such as launching ministries together! I anticipate much more greatness to come from these two groups of people. And it's great having somewhere on the internet to go where I will always be greeted with kindness and acceptance. 

If you haven't read For the Love yet, I still highly recommend it. If you have, let me know what you thought of it!

Choose Joy: A Reflection

I recently read a book titled Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver. In it the book talks about Sara's outlook on life and how she continually chose joy even while her life was becoming more restricted due to an illness. She was a woman of faith who sought God continually to help her find the joy in each day, especially on rough days. I don't really know how to share the encouragement and truth I received through the book other than to share some quotes from it along with my personal thoughts.

More than anything, I'm in the habit of believing if I just continue to step out in faith, that God will put what I need in front of me. That He'll line my path with the abilities and confidence that I'm lacking. p5

This is a really encouraging thought. I know intellectually that God will equip me with what I need for his purposes at the needed time. My heart sometimes has trouble accepting this and so I struggle with giving in to fear when I face something new or daunting.

I think our expectations of what we want life to be often overshadow the good things that are already in front of us - and that's when we miss the silver lining. p14

I choose joy. When something is going badly and I'm dwelling on it, I think instead of something for which I am grateful. I swear to you, it's as simple as that. You just have to decide today, and again tomorrow. And before you know it, you'll have an attitude of joy more than any other attitude you have at your disposal. p27

I have been thinking about needing to be more grateful for the things in my life. I know that gratefulness is a key to contentment. I don't want to be someone who is always striving for the next, better thing. I want to be able to see the blessings in my life and be joyful for them without a pull to want something more. Especially since I have recently been reminder that Jesus is enough. If I have him, I have everything I need. My discontentment means that I am not believing that Jesus is enough for me.

Control is an illusion. Life will do with me what it pleases, my circumstance will change, my pain will fluctuate, my finances will come and go, my health will alter at will (and alter my weight right along with it), and the only thing I can do is stay open to letting God change me in those circumstances. p40

I definitely struggle with wanting to be in control of my life. I feel like I have been more open recently to allowing God to change how I have perceive events. He has encouraged me to give more grace to others instead of judgment. He is trying to get me to trust him with everything.

Let go of the expectations I put on myself to be more than myself. It's a constant process as I lose more abilities, to adapt and adjust and let go of the notion that what I should be is anything other than what I am. p66

This strikes right at my heart. I often am concerned with being the person I think other people want me to be, even if something is not in my range of abilities. I really struggle with being okay with not being great in every area or with doing things differently than most others (especially in parenting).

It's a relief to know we're not graded on a curve, but instead loved for exactly who we are designed to be. I am whole. I am who He created me to be. p77

Life isn't fair. But it wasn't meant to be. What we tend to forget is that we created the idea of fair. God didn't. He never told us we deserve a perfect existence. He never told us life would be simple if we were faithful. He just told us to be faithful, and that He would be, too. p111 

 I have been dealing with this recently with my five year old. She has been complaining quite a bit about things not being fair. Usually it's when her younger brother gets something she doesn't. I usually start with "Life isn't fair" and then remind her of something she has gotten that he hasn't. Not that it squashes this mentality of wanting fairness but I'm hoping I'm planting some seeds of truth.

It has been in those silent times, when my mind drifts into thoughts and topics at random, that I get sparks of Him. I get an idea or a conclusion or a peace that I know has nothing to do with me. But I have to be quiet. I have to be with Him. p125

This reminded me of the importance of not always being on the go, of spending some time reflecting and being still. Being still is sometimes so hard because it feels counterproductive or like wasted time. But opening my heart and mind to God is never a waste.

Imagine if we all went about our lives remembering the core of who we are: a Spirit born in the image of Christ who is sent here to fulfill a purpose before going back home. I forget that so easily. I want to make this life all about me. All about my human existence instead of my spiritual being. I want to worry about my health and my finances and my housing and my potential. I want less pain and more easy. I want I want I want. p157

I frequently fail to take this perspective that God does have a purpose for me each day and I ought to be seeking his will throughout the day. Often I am focused on my self-made to-do list. I allow bumps in my plans to frustrate me rather than considering that they may be God's plan for me that day.

These last few quotes are from some of Sara's friends and what she taught them through their relationships.

Sara taught me that choosing joy doesn't mean living in denial of reality. It doesn't mean pretending everything is okay when it's not. It doesn't mean not allowing ourselves to grieve or acknowledge our own heartaches in life. It means being honest and authentic with where we are and, from that place, still lifting our eyes homeward. p169

Beautifully said. Speaking your grief or hurts is not the opposite of choosing joy. It is okay to acknowledge that life isn't always roses. Through an honest account of our struggles we can begin the process of healing and finding Jesus in our circumstances.

Choosing joy is acknowledging that while I don't understand what's going on, God does. Choosing joy is remembering that while life seems to be spiraling out of control, it is never out of God's control. Choosing joy is remaining mindful that while my circumstances may feel anything but ideal, God still has my good and His glory in mind. Because like Sara said, "It's not about me. It's about what He can do with my life." That statement holds the very essence of her lifestyle of choosing joy. p170

Such a good perspective to take. Choosing to trust God is involved in your life and will bring some good from any situation (Romans 8:28) helps us to remain hopeful no matter what is going on in our lives.

I dove in. Heart-first. Because that's how all of the great things in life are to be done. p171

This sounds amazing and also super scary. I read Dr. Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly earlier this year and its focus was on being vulnerable, which pretty much means living with your heart open (she calls it living wholeheartedly). I know that this is the only way to really connect and live well but it's still hard to risk rejection and judgment. Perhaps if I trust that wholehearted living is a gift I am giving to others and that falling just means I tried and am still able to get back up and try again, I will have the courage to do so.

She told me once that the most important gift you could give someone was your full and undivided attention. p171

This last quote hit me personally because I have realized recently that I often fail to be present in moments with people, most frequently my children. The things I am choosing to distract me are worthless compared to really seeing and being with my kids. They are so sweet and kind and funny. Why would I want to miss these moments? I hear over and over again that these years are short and I know they'll be gone before I'm ready.


I hope these small bits from the book encouraged you and made you think as they did for me. Sara's joy, gratefulness and heavenward perspective are inspiring and make me want to live similarly. If you are desiring a more joyful heart, I strongly recommend reading this book.

More than Mommy Guilt

I have been confronted lately at how much I deal with guilt. I make decisions trying to avoid feeling guilty even when in my head I know I shouldn't feel this way. I think it is my desire not to offend or disappoint others that fuels my responses to these feelings of guilt. Trying to rationalize why I shouldn't feel guilty does not seem to work to ease the tension I feel inside. I'll share my two current conundrums.

I am visiting my family in another state for a few weeks. I always enjoy getting to spend time with them and giving them the opportunity to spend face-to-face time with their grandchildren. I always have fun exploring their city, playing games and making memories. When I'm here, I stay in the room upstairs away from everyone else and the main living room. My mom has encouraged me to sleep in and relax from my normal daily activity of getting the kids up and breakfasted (they are early Byrds like their dad). I have struggled EVERY DAY I've been here feeling guilty for not going downstairs to help the minute I'm awake. I have gotten up early(ish) to have some prayer and Bible reading each day and some days I'll also do some exercise before going downstairs. But whenever I know that the kids are up, my guilt awakens in my head telling me I should go downstairs and help because the kids are my job. It kind of sours the remainder of time I spend upstairs. For some reason I don't feel like I deserve to have a little time to myself to do things I enjoy. I feel guilty that my mom is doing "my job". It's silly. I'm sure mom enjoys getting some time with just the kids as we only see each other a couple of times per year. I just don't know how to feel okay about it.

This year I have been provided with an amazing opportunity. I was selected to be part of a book launch team for an author who has spoken truth and wisdom and laughter to me through her books. An online community has developed that is so open and kind and loving and encouraging. It is incredible. The author has consented to hosting a launch party for all of the team members in the fall. It sounds like an awesome opportunity for fellowship and to meet in person all of the encouraging people I have only been reading about. I have really wanted to go but struggled with knowing that it would 1) cost money (flight, hotel, rental car, food) and I do not provide any income; and 2) require me to leave my family for a couple of days and give sole parenting duties to my husband. I feel guilty about that because for some reason I feel like it'd be a burden for him. It's really dumb. They're his kids and he loves them and will probably enjoy the bonding time. I just know how long days on my own with kids can be and don't want him to be inconvenienced. I'm afraid he'll feel resentful that I am spending money on a solo venture and leaving him with the kids. As I write it, it seems silly, but that's what my inner monologue is saying. He's encouraged me to go for it which I had hoped would ease my guilt but it hasn't.

I may appear full of confidence but at the moment I am not. I don't know why I am feeling this way right now. I have been praying. I feel like the root of these feelings is being concerned of others thinking badly of me and being inconvenienced themselves. They have both told me otherwise and yet this permission still has not caused these feelings to cease. It's probably a battle with my people-pleasing tendencies. Lord, help me! Help me to accept the assurances I receive from others at face value and not think that secretly they are feeling put out. Help me to comprehend that taking time for myself is a necessity and not being selfish to the detriment of others. I struggle so much with feeling selfish and then feeling guilty when I don't need to be. Please give me peace and confidence. In Jesus' name, Amen.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3