Happy 2016!

My family celebrating NYE in our cul-de-sac.

It's a new year! Full of promise and hope and the unknown. I spent the last couple of days pondering how I wanted to make this year better than the last. I found there are a number of ways I could stand to improve myself. This assessment was a bit overwhelming so I'm trying to scale it back and start with a few reasonable goals. 

The past few years I have set achievable goals and actually achieved them. Two years ago I decided to find a new dessert recipe each month and make it. It was quite a delicious challenge. One month I almost missed the deadline. This past year my goal was to hand write a note to every address in my address book (yes I have an actual address book). I surpassed this goal by adding a few notes here and there. I even received a few responses back which was thrilling. I love receiving actual mail! I know email is so much more convenient and faster and I enjoy it also, but there's just something about opening an envelope and reading words in someone's handwriting that makes it extra special.

This year I chose my New Year's Goal to be to execute one craft per month with the kids. This may not sound like much of a challenge to some but I am not a crafty person. I went to a crafting night at a friend's house a few months ago and spent the time coloring in pictures. Not very high on the crafting scale. My daughter LOVES creating things and asks often to do something artsy. I know my son hasn't had a lot of crafting experience because of my lack of skills but I'm sure he could benefit from some time practicing with scissors and markers. Having a plan helps me greatly with execution so having this goal in my head will perhaps get my creativity juices flowing (that and pinterest, of course).

I also am hoping to spend more time blogging. I know right now my posts are sporadic and it is because I struggle with perfectionism. I feel like if I don't have something profound to say, there's no reason to write. But I have learned from others that sharing the everyday experiences of life can be just as encouraging and beneficial to others. Ideally I'd like to work up to once per week this year. A current reasonable goal based on my responsibilities and life stage is twice per month. Perhaps I'll become an overachiever if I can get a routine worked out.

I have been working out some thoughts that have been reinforced by things I've been reading. I really want to grow in gratitude, contentment and joy. I know these things are intertwined. I know that I have everything I need and more. I want to become someone who holds material things loosely and is willing to share my blessings and abundance with others. I want to have a generous heart. I'm not sure how to make this tangible other than to perhaps keep a gratitude journal and pray regularly for these qualities to become manifested in my life. Another avenue would be to seek opportunities to serve or help others.

I have a few other things I am desiring to become habits - like scripture memorization for one - but I think I will have to slowly incorporate them into my life otherwise I am going to fail quickly and become disheartened. It's much easier to add than subtract. For succinctness I will summarize below.

Goals for 2016

1.Plan and execute one craft time with the kids each month
2.Blog two times per month
3.Grow in gratitude, contentment, joy and generosity

Seems like a good start. Do you have any areas of your life where you're hoping to see change or growth? Please share them with me in the comments!

Choose Joy: A Reflection

I recently read a book titled Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver. In it the book talks about Sara's outlook on life and how she continually chose joy even while her life was becoming more restricted due to an illness. She was a woman of faith who sought God continually to help her find the joy in each day, especially on rough days. I don't really know how to share the encouragement and truth I received through the book other than to share some quotes from it along with my personal thoughts.

More than anything, I'm in the habit of believing if I just continue to step out in faith, that God will put what I need in front of me. That He'll line my path with the abilities and confidence that I'm lacking. p5

This is a really encouraging thought. I know intellectually that God will equip me with what I need for his purposes at the needed time. My heart sometimes has trouble accepting this and so I struggle with giving in to fear when I face something new or daunting.

I think our expectations of what we want life to be often overshadow the good things that are already in front of us - and that's when we miss the silver lining. p14

I choose joy. When something is going badly and I'm dwelling on it, I think instead of something for which I am grateful. I swear to you, it's as simple as that. You just have to decide today, and again tomorrow. And before you know it, you'll have an attitude of joy more than any other attitude you have at your disposal. p27

I have been thinking about needing to be more grateful for the things in my life. I know that gratefulness is a key to contentment. I don't want to be someone who is always striving for the next, better thing. I want to be able to see the blessings in my life and be joyful for them without a pull to want something more. Especially since I have recently been reminder that Jesus is enough. If I have him, I have everything I need. My discontentment means that I am not believing that Jesus is enough for me.

Control is an illusion. Life will do with me what it pleases, my circumstance will change, my pain will fluctuate, my finances will come and go, my health will alter at will (and alter my weight right along with it), and the only thing I can do is stay open to letting God change me in those circumstances. p40

I definitely struggle with wanting to be in control of my life. I feel like I have been more open recently to allowing God to change how I have perceive events. He has encouraged me to give more grace to others instead of judgment. He is trying to get me to trust him with everything.

Let go of the expectations I put on myself to be more than myself. It's a constant process as I lose more abilities, to adapt and adjust and let go of the notion that what I should be is anything other than what I am. p66

This strikes right at my heart. I often am concerned with being the person I think other people want me to be, even if something is not in my range of abilities. I really struggle with being okay with not being great in every area or with doing things differently than most others (especially in parenting).

It's a relief to know we're not graded on a curve, but instead loved for exactly who we are designed to be. I am whole. I am who He created me to be. p77

Life isn't fair. But it wasn't meant to be. What we tend to forget is that we created the idea of fair. God didn't. He never told us we deserve a perfect existence. He never told us life would be simple if we were faithful. He just told us to be faithful, and that He would be, too. p111 

 I have been dealing with this recently with my five year old. She has been complaining quite a bit about things not being fair. Usually it's when her younger brother gets something she doesn't. I usually start with "Life isn't fair" and then remind her of something she has gotten that he hasn't. Not that it squashes this mentality of wanting fairness but I'm hoping I'm planting some seeds of truth.

It has been in those silent times, when my mind drifts into thoughts and topics at random, that I get sparks of Him. I get an idea or a conclusion or a peace that I know has nothing to do with me. But I have to be quiet. I have to be with Him. p125

This reminded me of the importance of not always being on the go, of spending some time reflecting and being still. Being still is sometimes so hard because it feels counterproductive or like wasted time. But opening my heart and mind to God is never a waste.

Imagine if we all went about our lives remembering the core of who we are: a Spirit born in the image of Christ who is sent here to fulfill a purpose before going back home. I forget that so easily. I want to make this life all about me. All about my human existence instead of my spiritual being. I want to worry about my health and my finances and my housing and my potential. I want less pain and more easy. I want I want I want. p157

I frequently fail to take this perspective that God does have a purpose for me each day and I ought to be seeking his will throughout the day. Often I am focused on my self-made to-do list. I allow bumps in my plans to frustrate me rather than considering that they may be God's plan for me that day.

These last few quotes are from some of Sara's friends and what she taught them through their relationships.

Sara taught me that choosing joy doesn't mean living in denial of reality. It doesn't mean pretending everything is okay when it's not. It doesn't mean not allowing ourselves to grieve or acknowledge our own heartaches in life. It means being honest and authentic with where we are and, from that place, still lifting our eyes homeward. p169

Beautifully said. Speaking your grief or hurts is not the opposite of choosing joy. It is okay to acknowledge that life isn't always roses. Through an honest account of our struggles we can begin the process of healing and finding Jesus in our circumstances.

Choosing joy is acknowledging that while I don't understand what's going on, God does. Choosing joy is remembering that while life seems to be spiraling out of control, it is never out of God's control. Choosing joy is remaining mindful that while my circumstances may feel anything but ideal, God still has my good and His glory in mind. Because like Sara said, "It's not about me. It's about what He can do with my life." That statement holds the very essence of her lifestyle of choosing joy. p170

Such a good perspective to take. Choosing to trust God is involved in your life and will bring some good from any situation (Romans 8:28) helps us to remain hopeful no matter what is going on in our lives.

I dove in. Heart-first. Because that's how all of the great things in life are to be done. p171

This sounds amazing and also super scary. I read Dr. Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly earlier this year and its focus was on being vulnerable, which pretty much means living with your heart open (she calls it living wholeheartedly). I know that this is the only way to really connect and live well but it's still hard to risk rejection and judgment. Perhaps if I trust that wholehearted living is a gift I am giving to others and that falling just means I tried and am still able to get back up and try again, I will have the courage to do so.

She told me once that the most important gift you could give someone was your full and undivided attention. p171

This last quote hit me personally because I have realized recently that I often fail to be present in moments with people, most frequently my children. The things I am choosing to distract me are worthless compared to really seeing and being with my kids. They are so sweet and kind and funny. Why would I want to miss these moments? I hear over and over again that these years are short and I know they'll be gone before I'm ready.


I hope these small bits from the book encouraged you and made you think as they did for me. Sara's joy, gratefulness and heavenward perspective are inspiring and make me want to live similarly. If you are desiring a more joyful heart, I strongly recommend reading this book.

Carrying Burdens

I feel like I have been very fortunate in life. I haven't had many hardships or difficulties (by my standards, at least). Sometimes I have felt that I shouldn't say it out loud for fear that something bad would then happen. (Side note: I've been reading Dr. Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly and she calls this "foreboding joy". It is actually refreshing to know that this is fairly common for people and has strategies for being able to embrace joy.) 

Anyway, I had been thinking about my feeling that I don't have a lot of drama in my life and yet I know many people dealing with difficult circumstances and pain. I listen and pray and try to keep tabs on how they are doing but feel like I don't have any power or ability to do anything really meaningful to help in their situations. I have been texting a lot with someone who is dealing with and overwhelming situation and one day she said that I seemed to know when something was going on with her and would text or email her when she needed it. I responded that it was God prompting me to contact her (which is true).

Recently I had the thought that perhaps I don't have a lot of drama going on is so that I can listen to what is going on with other people and help carry their burden through encouragement, support and prayer. I shared this with a good friend of mine and she seemed to think it was possible. A couple of days later I found Galatians 6:2 in my morning quiet time. "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Okay then. That sounds like confirmation to me. The next day, she texted me her devotion reading for the day called Attentive to People's Needs. Here's an excerpt from it:

 Are the people around you happy, or are they struggling in some area of life? Maybe the real question is: Are you attentive enough that you would recognize the difference?

Although we may not be able to solve all their problems, a simple word of encouragement is sometimes enough to lift the weight of the world off their shoulders. But to do that we have to be tuned in to the lives of the people around us and God's leading. Be willing to stop, listen and care.

The devotion ended with Galatians 6:2. Apparently this is God's message for me right now. I pray that I can be faithful to follow his leading through the Holy Spirit.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

The Joys and Perils of Pregnancy and Babies

We are less than two weeks away from my little man turning one. As we are currently planning on him remaining our youngest I thought it would be fun to recap the good and bad of being pregnant and having a newborn baby.

Me and my "babies".

Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant and Having a Baby

*Feeling my baby kick from the inside (until the last month when he/she kicked my bladder, ribs, etc and it seemed like they were training to be MMA fighters).

*Seeing my baby kick on the outside (a little freaky but overall pretty amazing; also, see caveat above).

*Preferential treatment (being offered chairs everywhere, first in line for food, a pass on lifting things and emptying the litter box).

*Deciding on a fun way to announce the pregnancy to my husband, family, and friends.

*Seeing the baby for the first time (such an amazing moment!).

*Showing off my baby and hearing how adorable he/she is.

*The downy baby hair (LB still has soft hair but I know my days are limited).

*Seeing the baby smile/laugh/clap/roll over for the first time (just about all of the milestones).

*The toothless grin.

*Baby babble (they sound so cute when they're making no sense and aren't yet professional whiners).

*The tiny clothes.
*Watching my baby sleep in my arms.
*Witnessing my body growing an actual person and then being its sole/main source of nourishment.

Things I Will NOT Miss About Being Pregnant and Having a Baby

*First trimester nausea (I only vomited once in two pregnancies and I imagine that is much worse but feeling like I had to vomit all day was still pretty bad).

*The last five weeks of pregnancy (unable to get comfortable to sleep, heartburn, millions of bathroom breaks, sciatica; generally it's the last month but my special boy thought I needed an extra week since I missed out on the full experience with BB).

*The inappropriate comments and intrusive questions ("You know how that happens, right?" "Was it planned?").

*Dietary restrictions.

*Hearing horror birth stories.

*Not being able to make plans in the four(ish) weeks surrounding the due date.

*The glucose test.
*The uncertainty of when the baby would arrive and how my body would handle labor and delivery (um, yeah, still don't know what labor's like).

*C-section recovery.

*Not sleeping through the night for the first two, four, six, eight, twelve months...

*The breast pump (no additional information needed).

*The first 40 days of breastfeeding (ouchie!).

*The amount of time spent breastfeeding each day (thankfully this decreases over time).

*Teaching babies how to fall asleep on their own.
*Having to plan my day/activities around feedings (there's still nap times to plan for but they are a bit more flexible and there are fewer of them).
*My house crammed with large contraptions for the baby's stimulation (now we will just have lots of tiny toys to injure feet).

*Changing diapers (oh wait, I still have another year or two...)


Did I miss any of the joys and not-so-fun parts of pregnancy and babies?