I Quit: Five Things I Want to Remove From My Life

  No one likes to be called a quitter. It has a decidedly negative connotation. It’s a word used to try to cajole others into continuing to persevere through a course of action. People continue on in an endeavor or commitment even when they might not think it the best decision for them because they fear being labeled a quitter. Why is quitting such a shameful thing?

  Sometimes quitting means realizing the futility of a specific task or path and choosing to go a different route. It’s admitting that there is nothing good to be had in continuing. There are a number of things that are good to quit: toxic relationships, unhealthy eating habits, lying, stealing, addiction, a job you hate that sucks the life out of you. In this context, quitting is a good, brave thing.

  There are some habits and thought patterns in my own life that I would be better off without. In these instances I believe quitting would be healthy and brave and beneficial. Today I want to share with you five things I’m going to work on quitting.

1)      Allowing fear to dictate my actions.

  I tend to overanalyze situations and decisions. I think about possible outcomes and the reaction that might come from them. I allow what someone might think or say about me to keep me from doing what I believe to be what is needed. What I need to do is be true to what I believe is right and not worry about how it might be received by others. I can’t control what others think or do and I shouldn’t allow a perceived reaction to hold me back.

  I also allow fear to keep me from taking steps toward accomplishing my goals and dreams. Part of the fear is criticism and rejection from others. The other part is negative self-talk that I am not qualified or smart enough or influential enough to write and publish an article or book. Who am I to think someone would pay for my thoughts and advice? If I never step out of my comfort zone and push through the fear, I won’t get to the satisfaction of trying and, perhaps, even succeeding. Fear wants to keep me ineffective. It wants to keep me from reaching out to others and perhaps encourage them with my words and experiences. What a shame if I allow fear to keep me immobilized.

2)      Trying to control everything about my life.

  I am a planner and scheduler. I like to know what’s going on in my daily/weekly schedule. I have tended to take the initiative to reach out to anyone I was interested in getting to know to set up a meeting or play date (depending on whether they have children). I have gotten overwhelmed, overscheduled, and burned out on a number of occasions. God has been working in me to learn to rest and to trust him with my life (schedules, relationships, etc). It’s still very much a work in progress but I have enjoyed a less structured, more leisurely schedule the past few months.

3)      Self-condemnation/negative self-talk.

  I’m sure many of us have that unkind voice inside of us that tells us that we are not enough. It likes to remind us of our flaws and failures. It tries to undermine our self-confidence. I believe it is related to perfectionistic tendencies. Something inside of us wants to be perfect and above reproach and we chastise ourselves when we show our humanness. I have struggled for years with my perfectionism. I am slowly accepting that it is not possible and I am only asked to show up and give what I have, whether that is much or little. If I approach each day open and willing to work diligently and with my whole heart, that’s the best I can do and it is enough.

4)      Pretending I have it all together.

  I think this kind of ties in with all of the above. I am afraid that if I show my flaws that I might be ridiculed or judged or rejected. Pretending I have no issues or needs is like a cocoon of protection. But just as it keeps hurt out, it also keeps love and acceptance from getting in as well. We all know no one is perfect but we like to act like we’re the only ones who have made mistakes or have scars from past experiences. I have learned that being open allows others to do the same and am working on putting down my self-protection front of pretending to be okay all of the time.

5)      Judging other people.

  I know that this is addressed in the Bible and is not a desirable trait but I still fall into this trap and it affects my attitude and words. I have read and know personally that we often judge others about things we know we struggle with as well. We tend to judge others to make ourselves feel better or more superior. However, judging doesn’t benefit anyone. It doesn’t improve my relationships with others. What I would prefer to do is to trust that everyone is doing the best they can. Everyone has a bad day and that might be the day I cross their path. I am not always observant of what’s around me and not considering those around me which may cause me to inconvenience or annoy someone else. If I can give myself grace, I ought to give others grace as well.

So these are five things I would like to work on quitting. Is there anything you would like to quit? If you’d like to read what other people are saying, head over to mrsdisciple.com. 

Seven Things I've Learned From My 3-Year-Old About Building Community

  My son, the extrovert, does not seem to mind Island Living. (This is the term I've coined to describe my family's experience of living and parenting away from family.) He creates his own community wherever he goes.

   At the gym he befriended an older gentleman who exercises in the pool most mornings. They had not actually heard each others' voices because of the glass between the pool and the lobby, but every day he would run to the glass to show Mr. Bob what to he had brought and Bob would pantomime back, I would try to interpret, and then Bob would splash the glass in front of Jackson. J worked hard on perfecting his thumbs up gesture so that he could flash it back at Bob. 

   I've actually now had a few conversations with Bob when we happen to meet outside the pool at the gym (and once at the grocery store). We gave him a Christmas card so he would know our names (before we had spoken) and he gave Jackson a Christmas present. I know that relationship would not exist without Jackson and his friendly nature (and I love when others take an interest in my children).

   Whenever we go to a park, the pool, a restaurant - wherever - Jackson inevitably strikes up a conversation with someone. Most of the time it is usually to ask another person to play with him. At three years old, he doesn't always remember to ask their names so he often refers to them as "kid" or "my friend", though if he learns their name then he will ask about them the next time we're at the place where they met.

   At restaurants he often turns around to ask the (usually) older girl what her name is. Once, to the shagrin of his grandparents, he turned to two teenage girls in the booth behind him and said, "Hello, ladies!"

   We were at the pool earlier this summer and he started talking to another mother about The Jungle Book. Later he went over to her while she was laying in a lounge chair and asked her to watch him while he jumped into the pool (before you think I ignore or neglect him, I was in the water waiting to catch him when he performed his magnificent feat). He checked several times to make sure she was watching, jumped, then immediately looked to her for her reaction. I appreciated her obliging him. 

   He has no fear of talking to unknown people. He assumes he will be well received, have a positive interaction and an immediate new friend. I love his boldness, innocence and confidence. I usually start a conversation with the parent of the child Jackson's playing with. I admittedly feel more awkward during these interactions than he does. I've probably lost my lack of inhibition through my own encounters with people over the years. I love that Jackson reminds me that there are always opportunities to have positive social interactions and meet some potential new friends.

Playing catch with a "new friend" at the park

  In honor of my gregarious son, I have compiled a list of seven things I've learned from watching him navigate his world. Perhaps I could gain quite a bit from acting more like him.

1. He's not bothered about lacking a built-in community. He's comfortable making his own wherever he goes.

2. He doesn't discriminate. He sees everyone as a potential new friend.

3. He is confident that he will be accepted and enjoyed for who he is.

4. He enjoys the community that is available to him rather than lamenting what he doesn't have.

5. He is not afraid to seek out community. He's not worried about looking weak or needy.

6. He seems to implicitly know that creating community benefits everyone involved.

7. He is not concerned about what others will think. He doesn't hesitate to ask for what he wants or needs.

Is there anything on this list that you could benefit from implementing in your own life? What have you learned from watching your own children navigate the world?

Self-Care Benefits Everyone: My Spa Day Revelation

   For Christmas this past year my mother gave me a spa day to use when I came out to Boise for our yearly visit. I was in charge of choosing the place, the services received and the appointment date and time.

  Massages have kind of become part of my Boise experience. I think my mother has gifted me a massage the last three years of visits, which I completely appreciate and enjoy. Last summer I had received an amazing massage from a woman at a spa in the area. I was amazed at her work on my hands and humorously wondered if I could write massages off as a business expense if I ever became an official author/writer (I'm still curious if anyone has some insight). Unfortunately, the masseuse is no longer at the spa so I searched around for local spas and settled on one that had a package of a facial, 90 minute massage and pedicure - pampering from head to toe!

   My experience was incredible! Not only was it relaxing, it was also a very restorative and spiritual time for me. Each of the women allowed me to receive the treatment in quiet, with only the wordless, peaceful music playing - heaven for this introvert who had been around half a dozen + family members for nearly three weeks. My focus wandered through four different parts of the experience - the physical sensations of oils, lotions and hands, the various pleasant scents from the oils and lotions, the relaxation feelings of the experience where I nearly fell asleep multiple times, and the time just to hear my own thoughts and prayers about life, family and friends.

   I was somewhat surprised at the strong spiritual aspect of my experience. I don't recall previous spa sessions to have felt so purposeful and meaningful. Perhaps it is because all previous experiences were approximately 50 minutes in length and this was much longer so I could relax more fully. I loved the time for my mind to process my thoughts and feelings and let go of stress and worry while my body and muscles did the same with help.

   At the end of the experience I felt relaxed, of course, but also infused with peace, patience and energy. Before my appointment I had been short on patience and a generous spirit with my children (it is summer after all, 24/7 family time). Afterward I was more loving, kind and ready to engage with them. When I next spoke with my husband on the phone (he was not with us for the last two weeks of our three week trip) he noted my energy and more positive attitude. More proof that I was a bit worn down.

   This experience has been further evidence to me of the importance of self-care. I was reminded of the kind of mother/daughter/person I can and want to be when I meaningfully take a step away from normal life to refresh and recharge myself. (It was only four hours! Full days and weekends not required for refreshment - a revelation and encouragement to me.)

   I am continuing to learn and experience the benefits of self-care. The toughest obstacles I tend to face are guilt that I'm being selfish and struggling to feel worthy of self-care. I hope to continuously remind myself that my family and friends benefit when I care for my physical and mental health.

That Time I Applied for Jen Hatmaker's Book Launch Team

One year ago today I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a link to an application to apply for a spot on a book launch team to read and promote Jen Hatmaker's new book coming out in the fall. I was in the process of reading Interrupted with a small group of women and was enjoying her candid and conversational writing style as well as her message. I had also read a couple of her viral blog posts I heard about on the Today Show and liked them so I thought, why not? I saw that there were only 500 spots and I knew she had a ton of followers so I thought my chances were small. Still, I figure you can't win if you don't apply. So I did.

Then I heard that five thousand(!) people had applied for the five hundred spots and calculated my odds (better than the lottery, right?). I didn't really think much more about it until I received an email on March 10th that started out, Knock, knock. Who's there? YOU, because YOU are on my Launch Team for 'For the Love'!!

I was thrilled! I texted my friend who I knew had also applied to see if she had received the email. Unfortunately she hadn't and it dampened my enthusiasm as I didn't want to feel like I was rubbing it in her face (it's a struggle to be happy about an experience when you know someone else might not be). I joined the Facebook page for the launch team and that's when the craziness began.

Everyone was so thrilled to be in it and sharing their information to see if they knew anyone else or lived close to another Launch Team Member. I found out there were a few other people in Georgia, a few in Atlanta and a few OTP. I didn't meet any of them until September (we'll get there).

As I'm an introvert who doesn't generally post a ton about life online (yet I have a blog, I know) I spent most of my time reading the posts but not contributing. People soon began sharing prayer requests and life events with the group and everything was met with love and grace and kindness. It is the most positive part of the internet I've ever experienced! I know that if I ever need some encouragement or support I could head there.

We all received electronic copies of the book, followed by an unedited paperback a few weeks later, to begin reading it so that we could post reviews and talk about it in our various social groups. I found that part to be pretty easy because I enjoyed the book so much.

Apparently most everyone else did as well. The creative members started making graphics to promote the book. Then it branched into coffee mugs and tshirts. I can't remember all of the neat things that were made as a result of this book. I got a little into the creative aspect and replicated someone else's idea of putting a quote on canvas. I made two, one for each of my kids' rooms.

Very early in the group's existence someone suggested we have a Launch Team Party at Jen Hatmaker's house after the book came out. Everyone loved the idea though many considered it a ridiculously impossible one. But the impossible can happen. Jen actually agreed to the idea (with the stipulation that she didn't have to do anything but show up) and a group of women volunteered to take on the task of making the party a reality. Yet another amazing surprise! 

When I learned the date of the party I was both excited and apprehensive. The idea of getting to meet Jen and a bunch of the ladies I had been praying for and learning about seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of event. But, of course, it was also a huge party filled with strangers (not my favorite) and the pesky detail of paying for flights, hotel and rental car. I waffled a bit until my husband said I should go for it. And I did. I ended up making a short trip, long enough for the party, a little exploring of Austin/Buda, and a visit to ANC (the Hatmakers' church I became familiar with through Interrupted). 

Made it to Texas!

Waiting on the shuttles to take us to the party

Anyone else watch My Big Family Renovation on HGTV? Just me? Okay.

Wish I could recall our conversation.

Obligatory photo op (she was so gracious to talk to each of us!)

One of the cool things about the group is that there are so many women with passion to help with various social justice issues and causes and using their talents to support them. The shirts and coffee mugs had the profits donated to organizations such as Help One Now. Some make cuffs, jewelry and other goods and donate some proceeds to charities. When the party was announced there were women who wanted to go but could not financially afford it and the group created a scholarship program to get everyone there - and we all banded together and gave money to make sure everyone did! The group has raised money to buy a high school senior a car, supported adoption fundraisers, replaced a blogger's laptop, started writing groups and helped launch other books (I did a few others, though none of the experiences equaled this one).

I am so encouraged and inspired with how passionate everyone is and how so many people are doing what they can to make the world a better place for someone! I feel like they are all out of my league. But we all have different life seasons and different passions and I can cheer all of these ladies on as I focus on raising my kids with service and giving when I can (and remembering the widow's mite story that it's not really what we give, it's our heart behind the giving). 

I am so amazed at everything that has come out of one little book launch group. It's also cool that many of the people not selected dubbed themselves #the4500 and are also doing many great things such as launching ministries together! I anticipate much more greatness to come from these two groups of people. And it's great having somewhere on the internet to go where I will always be greeted with kindness and acceptance. 

If you haven't read For the Love yet, I still highly recommend it. If you have, let me know what you thought of it!

A Journey Through God's Faithfulness

Do you have an area in your life where you've seen God faithfully provide time after time? An area where you are confident that he will always meet your needs? I have one of those areas that I want to share with you. That area is employment.

It seems kind of funny that I have full confidence in God's ability to provide me with a job as I've spent the past five years as a SAHM. Though, truthfully, being at home is the job I wanted when I became a parent and I haven't had to find additional employment, so I can confidently say that he is still providing what is needed for me and my family through my husband's job.

My sweet kiddos

My very first job I worked at a berry farm for a week one summer while visiting my relatives. Two cousins and I spent Monday-Friday picking raspberries and blueberries. We were paid by the amount of berries we picked. It was an interesting job. I was probably late elementary, maybe middle school. I made about $50 for my efforts and was ecstatic. It was the most money I'd seen to date.

The summer after eighth grade my mom helped me get hired on at the Bed and Breakfast she worked. I worked several days per week cleaning rooms, basically whenever they needed me. I continued to work there during the school year on weekends and then in the summers again all throughout high school. I actually enjoyed the work because it was fairly solitary and routine. My best friend was hired on at some point so some days we cleaned rooms together which was also fun. It was a very positive first long-term job experience.

I was fortunate enough to earn a full-ride scholarship in college so I didn't have to work to pay bills or tuition. Toward the end of my junior year of college I was interested in finding an internship of some sort for the summer. I was interested in ministry but didn't have a definite direction. The pastor from my high school church offered me a part-time position to come work for him in the church during the summer and I gladly accepted.

Mission Trip (I'm in the gray sweatshirt on the left)

Since it was my old home town I knew a lot of people there. My best friend's mom offered to let me live at their house for the summer (my parents had moved away) so I was blessed with free housing. She worked at the court house and said that they needed someone to work there part-time during the summer while one of the staff was out and asked if I was interested. That summer I ended up working two part-time jobs in the same city. I spent my mornings at church and my afternoons at the court house. I learned a lot from both roles and know that it was God's provision for the timing and opportunities.

Mrs. P, my second mom

I graduated from college in December and was debating whether or not to apply to graduate school. The idea of having a student loan terrified me but I thought I needed a master's to be able to do any relevant work with my Bachelor's in Psychology. Most programs didn't start until the fall so I thought it would be beneficial to find a job while preparing grad school applications and figuring out exactly what I wanted to do.

I started applying for some church ministry positions in January. I applied for a youth pastor position at a local church. (I have no idea why I thought that would be a good fit for me - probably because I enjoyed working with the other young women in my church ministry and had been a chaperone on three or four youth mission trips with my old church.) I was called for an interview and decided I should start visiting/attending the church to see if it was a good fit for me.

On my second Sunday at the church someone introduced himself to me and somehow we got on the topic of my job search. When he heard I had a Psychology degree he introduced me to the pastor's wife and we set up a brunch meeting (very weird to look back on - some would say a myriad of coincidences but I know it was God's provision). When the woman and I met she suggested I look into residential group home programs for troubled teens. She thought my degree would be useful. I ended up not being offered the youth pastor position but I did look into the group homes. I looked at several similar programs in NC and VA.

I interviewed for a program in VA that was a residential group home where the youth and counselors lived outdoors year-round. Very intriguing but I wasn't sure my cold-natured self could survive the colder months (I helped serve meals outside in downtown Raleigh in January and my toes were extremely numb and super cold to the touch when I arrived back home) and it required a two-year commitment. In February I received an offer for the outdoor counselor job but ended up turning it down (the biggest reason being I wouldn't have been able to attend church while holding that position and I thought regular church attendance was important for my faith). I remember thinking that my parents probably thought I was crazy for turning down a job when I didn't have one or any other definite prospects but I had prayed about it and was confident that it was not right for me so I continued to search and trust God.

I decided to also look for local part-time work while I searched for something full-time and filled out an application at Old Navy. I received a call to come in and interview. I apparently did well with the interview (though I'm sure they were wondering why someone with a newly minted college degree wanted a part-time job) and they offered me a job in logistics (sorting and putting out inventory). I really enjoyed the job. I like order and neatness and a minimum sales role and it met those criteria. I enjoyed the other people I worked with as well as the quiet, early morning hours. It was a fun experience.

While working at Old Navy I continued to seek full-time employment (by this time I had decided that maybe grad school was not right for me at this time). I found a group home program in my city called Methodist Home for Children and decided to apply for a Resident Counselor position. During the summer I received a call to come interview for the position. The interview was near Burlington, about 50 minutes from Raleigh. I went for the interview and felt like I did well.

Toward the end of summer I felt led to quit my job at Old Navy. I had been enjoying it and didn't have any other offers but I chose to trust God and put in my two weeks' notice. During my last two weeks I received an offer to work for MHC. They said they didn't know whether I would work at the Raleigh home or the Burlington home but they'd let me know at training (I was living in Raleigh). I accepted and looked forward to the training in a few weeks. At training I learned I would be based in Raleigh but I did end up working a few shifts in Burlington and one in Durham.

The turnover rate for a Resident Counselor was pretty high as it is a very emotionally and mentally stressful job. The average counselor lasted six months. When I started working I knew I could only work for about eleven months (I became engaged between accepting the offer and starting training), as I was getting married and moving at the end of July the following year, so it seemed like a challenge to beat the average.

They were not kidding about the stress and learning curve of the job. While working at MHC I became sick from mono for the second time in my life (they say you can only have it once, but I showed them!). I ended up working there until May (nine months). I enjoyed most of the people I worked with and learned a lot from the experience. I'm hoping it prepared me well for when I have my own teenagers living in the house.

I moved to Georgia in August after I got married and tried to settle in to married life, a new church and finding new friends. I spent a few months learning my way around and working on my culinary skills. In the fall I decided it was probably time to look for a job. I applied to a bunch of different job positions I found online. I visited a temp agency to try to find work that way. In December I had an interview with a local university to work in their department that contacts alumni about financial donations. The first interview went splendidly well and I was called for a second one. The next interview I felt like a deer in headlights. I was not prepared for being interviewed by six people and had not done my research on the department. I assume I didn't get the job as they never called me back to let me know either way.

In January I went to a luncheon for people interested in helping with the youth at church. I sat next to a woman and we somehow talked about my job search and what I was looking for. She told me to send me a resume because she was thinking about quitting her current job and thought I might be a good fit for a replacement. So I did. The program director called me to invite me to come in for an interview for the position. I used my experience from the last interview process to read up on the company and position and prepare myself. I felt pretty good after the interview process and was offered the job.

Some of my former co-workers

I started the job the same week we bought our first house (which would place me 30 minutes closer to my new job from the apartment we had been living in). I really enjoyed my new co-workers. I felt like the company and my role were beneficial to others. I worked as a Parent Counselor at a Child Care Resource & Referral Agency and spent my time helping parents find local quality child care that met their needs.

Toward the end of my second year at the company I was beginning to feel stressed about my job. The reporting requirements changed several times which was confusing and there was discussion of moving my position to downtown Atlanta. In my church small group one evening I shared my stress with work during prayer requests. Our group leader, who was also our church pastor, called me a couple of weeks later and asked if I might be interested in working part-time as the admin for the church. I was excited at the prospect but wanted to discuss it with my husband and pray.

We had begun the discussion of starting a family and the plan was for me to stay home with our children when that time came. I thought moving to part-time would help us to move toward the goal of living off of just my husband's income. Others suggested we just save all of my current paycheck but I knew a gradual step down would be more helpful for us and we could work on saving all of my new paycheck. So I accepted the offer and started working at the church.

A fun group to work with (and a complete opposite male/female balance from my previous job)

I loved working in the church office doing administrative things and whatever else was asked of me. I enjoyed spending time with the pastors and having opportunities to go to conferences like Catalyst. During my first year of working at the church I became pregnant. My boss mentioned to me that he wanted me to go to a conference at the end of April the following year and I said I didn't know if I could make it. He first thought I was quitting but was excited to learn it was just close to my due date.

My (wonderful and compassionate) pastor told me that I could bring my baby in to work with me in order to be able to keep working for the church. I decided to try it out. It worked okay for awhile but as my daughter grew, the work schedule began hindering her naps so I chose to quit and officially stay home full-time when she was seven months old. I was very sad to end that job as it had been my favorite work environment and experience to date.

My adorable office companion

Well, there's the majority of my work history (minus random odd jobs and babysitting). It is so amazing to see all of the ways God led and provided for me. The orchestrations of meeting specific people still blow my mind. Whenever I think about how trustworthy God has been in this area of my life, I am inspired and encouraged to trust him in all of the other areas.


So, now it's your turn. Where do you feel God has been most faithful and trustworthy in your life? I'd love to hear and be inspired by your story!

Carrying Burdens

I feel like I have been very fortunate in life. I haven't had many hardships or difficulties (by my standards, at least). Sometimes I have felt that I shouldn't say it out loud for fear that something bad would then happen. (Side note: I've been reading Dr. Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly and she calls this "foreboding joy". It is actually refreshing to know that this is fairly common for people and has strategies for being able to embrace joy.) 

Anyway, I had been thinking about my feeling that I don't have a lot of drama in my life and yet I know many people dealing with difficult circumstances and pain. I listen and pray and try to keep tabs on how they are doing but feel like I don't have any power or ability to do anything really meaningful to help in their situations. I have been texting a lot with someone who is dealing with and overwhelming situation and one day she said that I seemed to know when something was going on with her and would text or email her when she needed it. I responded that it was God prompting me to contact her (which is true).

Recently I had the thought that perhaps I don't have a lot of drama going on is so that I can listen to what is going on with other people and help carry their burden through encouragement, support and prayer. I shared this with a good friend of mine and she seemed to think it was possible. A couple of days later I found Galatians 6:2 in my morning quiet time. "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Okay then. That sounds like confirmation to me. The next day, she texted me her devotion reading for the day called Attentive to People's Needs. Here's an excerpt from it:

 Are the people around you happy, or are they struggling in some area of life? Maybe the real question is: Are you attentive enough that you would recognize the difference?

Although we may not be able to solve all their problems, a simple word of encouragement is sometimes enough to lift the weight of the world off their shoulders. But to do that we have to be tuned in to the lives of the people around us and God's leading. Be willing to stop, listen and care.

The devotion ended with Galatians 6:2. Apparently this is God's message for me right now. I pray that I can be faithful to follow his leading through the Holy Spirit.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Being a "Yes" Mommy

I just finished a book called Yes Mommy: The Mayhem and Madness of Not Saying No by Amy Sprenger where the author shares her account of going thirty days without saying "no", "don't" or "stop" to her children. The purpose was to try to lighten up a little in her parenting. She had the normal concerns that her kids would eat nothing but junk, be uncontrollable in public and possibly be injured from lack of boundaries. She did, at times, try to get around her self-imposed limitations by redirection and attempting to persuade them to make a different choice.

I have recently been evaluating my own parenting and trying to figure out how I can be more loving and encouraging to my kids. I am learning to carefully consider the reasons I am saying "no" to my children. Often it is because of my personal preference - I don't want to put in the effort or I might be slightly inconvenienced or I'll have more to clean up. If it isn't a valid health or safety issue or there isn't a time constraint, I am trying to say "yes" and the book helped remind me of the value of being open to my kids by saying "yes" to requests for activities and ideas of how to spend our time together.

My daughter is in preschool and has dressed herself for quite some time. Her fashion style is a bit eclectic, definitely different from my own. For a while I would try to convince her to change some part of her outfit so that she matched better but I realized it was only because I was concerned that others would judge me negatively for my daughter's fashion sense. Really, what does it matter if she wears a plastic pink tiara to preschool most days? As long as her clothes are weather appropriate I'm doing my job. It is one less thing on my morning to-do list and helps her gain independence (and isn't that a major goal of parenting?).

My creative and confident girl

I was an unusual dresser myself as a child. My mom said that she figured if I was teased at school for my outfits by other kids I might change how I dress but it wasn't important enough for her to fight about with me. I have chosen to take this road with my daughter as well. Of course, I still choose outfits for pictures I'm paying for and some special occasion events, but allowing her freedom the rest of the time makes it a non-issue.

More often than not saying "yes" is just about getting over my own preferences and agenda and opening myself up to fun and meaningful experiences with the kids. And being okay with cleaning up art supplies, fake snow, sand and sweaty, dirty, happy children.

Living For His Glory

Image by suwatpo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday at church there was a new person singing with the band. I was blown away at the beauty of his voice. It was powerful and passionate. I felt joy watching him use his God-given abilities for the glory of God. It got me thinking about all of the people I have seen using their abilities in a glorifying way. All of the members of the band at church do this. Our various speakers do this as well. So do the people welcoming everyone to church and those teaching and loving on the kids in the children's ministry. There's something so encouraging to me when I see the joy and passion in the face of the person giving of themselves in order to point to Jesus. 

While I was listening to and singing the lyrics of the songs and listening to our pastor speak passionately about focusing on what God looks at rather than what man does, it fanned the flame of my desire to live purposefully and to use my abilities for God's glory. I know that he has given me abilities with the written word. I want to be faithful to write regularly about my experiences for the purpose of encouraging others who may be facing similar situations. I know that God can use my words and my life for his purposes. That's my heart's greatest desire. And, essentially, that's my mission for this blog - to provide hope and encouragement to others. 

Does seeing someone else living purposefully and glorifying God cultivate a desire in you to do the same? What are abilities you possess that you could use to bring glory to God?

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me

Here I am, use me for Your glory

In everything I say and do, let my life honor You

Here I am living for Your glory

~Tim Hughes and Rachel Hughes, Living For Your Glory~

Life Got In The Way

Top: how I feel some weeks. Bottom: once the weeks are over.

Well, it's certainly been a few weeks since I was last on here. It's been pretty busy around our house. We went on vacation to Myrtle Beach with the in-laws for a week. The following week BB started three-year-old preschool three days per week. This week my brother is visiting for a few days so there's been a lot of changes to the "normal" routine. With preschool started we are working on creating a new weekly schedule and routine. Also within this time frame PB and I have tried to get back into our weekly team tennis practices (match play starts this weekend) and our church community group has begun. Oh, and BB took her first dance class yesterday. So, yeah, our days are pretty packed. 

I was excited about preschool for several reasons. I thought BB would enjoy spending regular time with other children her age. It would also break up the monotony of staring at our four walls all of the time. I was looking forward to getting some one-on-one time with LB. It's rare that he's awake without BB around. I also thought it would give me a few more hours during the week to get things checked off of my to-do list (especially since LB has a nap time for an hour or so while BB's in preschool). 

The first week I managed to get more done than usual. I figured out that I could do my exercise DVD and take a shower in the morning. I could get my blog post written and posted on the alternate morning. And that's how it worked. The first week. 

Last week (I can't believe we've only had two weeks of preschool!) I assumed the same would happen. I don't know whether I took naps I didn't know about, but somehow I wasn't even able to get all of my normal week things accomplished! I have no idea what was different between the weeks. 

This week my brother is here so we are having quality time with him and are nowhere close to regular days, but we're having fun and, in the life of a SAHM, sometimes different is a refreshing break from the norm. However, I must say that I have been able to get some things done knowing there's another set of eyes and hands (and ears - boy does BB like to talk!) around the house.

I'll have to wait until next week to see how the trend is going. I do realize that even before preschool I tended to have productive and non-productive weeks. That's just life I suppose. I'm sure once we get used to all of our weekly activities things will smooth out again. And, if not, then something will probably need to be dropped.

Do you tend to alternate between feeling on top of your to-do list and feeling hopelessly behind? Any solutions or helpful advice?