Women and Leadership in the Church

I have recently been thinking a lot about women, leadership and the church. Growing up in the church I have known that there are some churches and denominations that do not condone women as preachers, pastors, deacons, elders or ministry leaders (apart from women's and children's). I hadn't really thought much about it, probably because I have not really desired to be in those particular positions. But I know there are women who do desire to preach and teach and believe that God has gifted them in this way. Why should they be prevented from serving and glorifying God in these ways simply because they are women?

I know that one of the arguments is that scriptures in the Bible prohibit women from teaching and preaching. I wonder if the scriptures are being quoted without considering the culture, context or audience for which it was written. I wonder what Jesus would think or say about these things. I wonder about the stories in the Bible where women led, prophesied, taught, ministered, hosted churches and used their gifts and resources for God's kingdom. It doesn't appear that they were kicked out of church or criticized for overstepping their ministry roles.

I have struggled with wanting to be defensive, aggressive or combative on this subject. I have struggled with saying anything about my thoughts because I haven't thoroughly researched it myself. Regardless of my level of knowledge, my spirit feels that disqualifying women from leadership because of their gender is not right. Women are just as resourceful, intelligent, wise, discerning, equipped and loved by God as men. The requirements/standards of leadership should be the same for both.

I realize in Biblical times (and still now in parts of the world) women were considered the property of men. They had no standing, power or influence in the community. Women throughout the ages have fought to obtain rights equal to men. Women are still fighting for them. Yes, there are differences between men and women but I don't think any of them prohibit or hinder leadership ability.

I have been reading Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey as my introduction to this subject. I have learned quite a bit by her walk through her own study of this topic. Her book resonates with what I have been feeling.

I have appreciated that Sarah acknowledges that women in church leadership is a sensitive and hotly debated issue in which not everyone is called to verbally contribute. She reminds us that we can minister and use our gifts in every area of our life even if official ministry titles and positions are not approved by the church. God can use us where we are. Some women will feel led to challenge the church's stance with discussions and questions while others will choose to follow God's leading and serve/lead in the areas he determines, challenging the status quo by their lives. Just because women may not be allowed to preach in some congregations, it does not mean they cannot still be influential in their communities.

I still am not sure what my role is in this subject. Right now I have a lot of questions but not a lot of definitive answers. I will continue to seek the wisdom of those who have more experience, study and insight into women leadership and the church. I do think the church misses out when it excludes women from being influential and using their gifts to serve the church and community.


What are your thoughts on this issue? I welcome respectful and thoughtful comments.

A Journey Through God's Faithfulness

Do you have an area in your life where you've seen God faithfully provide time after time? An area where you are confident that he will always meet your needs? I have one of those areas that I want to share with you. That area is employment.

It seems kind of funny that I have full confidence in God's ability to provide me with a job as I've spent the past five years as a SAHM. Though, truthfully, being at home is the job I wanted when I became a parent and I haven't had to find additional employment, so I can confidently say that he is still providing what is needed for me and my family through my husband's job.

My sweet kiddos

My very first job I worked at a berry farm for a week one summer while visiting my relatives. Two cousins and I spent Monday-Friday picking raspberries and blueberries. We were paid by the amount of berries we picked. It was an interesting job. I was probably late elementary, maybe middle school. I made about $50 for my efforts and was ecstatic. It was the most money I'd seen to date.

The summer after eighth grade my mom helped me get hired on at the Bed and Breakfast she worked. I worked several days per week cleaning rooms, basically whenever they needed me. I continued to work there during the school year on weekends and then in the summers again all throughout high school. I actually enjoyed the work because it was fairly solitary and routine. My best friend was hired on at some point so some days we cleaned rooms together which was also fun. It was a very positive first long-term job experience.

I was fortunate enough to earn a full-ride scholarship in college so I didn't have to work to pay bills or tuition. Toward the end of my junior year of college I was interested in finding an internship of some sort for the summer. I was interested in ministry but didn't have a definite direction. The pastor from my high school church offered me a part-time position to come work for him in the church during the summer and I gladly accepted.

Mission Trip (I'm in the gray sweatshirt on the left)

Since it was my old home town I knew a lot of people there. My best friend's mom offered to let me live at their house for the summer (my parents had moved away) so I was blessed with free housing. She worked at the court house and said that they needed someone to work there part-time during the summer while one of the staff was out and asked if I was interested. That summer I ended up working two part-time jobs in the same city. I spent my mornings at church and my afternoons at the court house. I learned a lot from both roles and know that it was God's provision for the timing and opportunities.

Mrs. P, my second mom

I graduated from college in December and was debating whether or not to apply to graduate school. The idea of having a student loan terrified me but I thought I needed a master's to be able to do any relevant work with my Bachelor's in Psychology. Most programs didn't start until the fall so I thought it would be beneficial to find a job while preparing grad school applications and figuring out exactly what I wanted to do.

I started applying for some church ministry positions in January. I applied for a youth pastor position at a local church. (I have no idea why I thought that would be a good fit for me - probably because I enjoyed working with the other young women in my church ministry and had been a chaperone on three or four youth mission trips with my old church.) I was called for an interview and decided I should start visiting/attending the church to see if it was a good fit for me.

On my second Sunday at the church someone introduced himself to me and somehow we got on the topic of my job search. When he heard I had a Psychology degree he introduced me to the pastor's wife and we set up a brunch meeting (very weird to look back on - some would say a myriad of coincidences but I know it was God's provision). When the woman and I met she suggested I look into residential group home programs for troubled teens. She thought my degree would be useful. I ended up not being offered the youth pastor position but I did look into the group homes. I looked at several similar programs in NC and VA.

I interviewed for a program in VA that was a residential group home where the youth and counselors lived outdoors year-round. Very intriguing but I wasn't sure my cold-natured self could survive the colder months (I helped serve meals outside in downtown Raleigh in January and my toes were extremely numb and super cold to the touch when I arrived back home) and it required a two-year commitment. In February I received an offer for the outdoor counselor job but ended up turning it down (the biggest reason being I wouldn't have been able to attend church while holding that position and I thought regular church attendance was important for my faith). I remember thinking that my parents probably thought I was crazy for turning down a job when I didn't have one or any other definite prospects but I had prayed about it and was confident that it was not right for me so I continued to search and trust God.

I decided to also look for local part-time work while I searched for something full-time and filled out an application at Old Navy. I received a call to come in and interview. I apparently did well with the interview (though I'm sure they were wondering why someone with a newly minted college degree wanted a part-time job) and they offered me a job in logistics (sorting and putting out inventory). I really enjoyed the job. I like order and neatness and a minimum sales role and it met those criteria. I enjoyed the other people I worked with as well as the quiet, early morning hours. It was a fun experience.

While working at Old Navy I continued to seek full-time employment (by this time I had decided that maybe grad school was not right for me at this time). I found a group home program in my city called Methodist Home for Children and decided to apply for a Resident Counselor position. During the summer I received a call to come interview for the position. The interview was near Burlington, about 50 minutes from Raleigh. I went for the interview and felt like I did well.

Toward the end of summer I felt led to quit my job at Old Navy. I had been enjoying it and didn't have any other offers but I chose to trust God and put in my two weeks' notice. During my last two weeks I received an offer to work for MHC. They said they didn't know whether I would work at the Raleigh home or the Burlington home but they'd let me know at training (I was living in Raleigh). I accepted and looked forward to the training in a few weeks. At training I learned I would be based in Raleigh but I did end up working a few shifts in Burlington and one in Durham.

The turnover rate for a Resident Counselor was pretty high as it is a very emotionally and mentally stressful job. The average counselor lasted six months. When I started working I knew I could only work for about eleven months (I became engaged between accepting the offer and starting training), as I was getting married and moving at the end of July the following year, so it seemed like a challenge to beat the average.

They were not kidding about the stress and learning curve of the job. While working at MHC I became sick from mono for the second time in my life (they say you can only have it once, but I showed them!). I ended up working there until May (nine months). I enjoyed most of the people I worked with and learned a lot from the experience. I'm hoping it prepared me well for when I have my own teenagers living in the house.

I moved to Georgia in August after I got married and tried to settle in to married life, a new church and finding new friends. I spent a few months learning my way around and working on my culinary skills. In the fall I decided it was probably time to look for a job. I applied to a bunch of different job positions I found online. I visited a temp agency to try to find work that way. In December I had an interview with a local university to work in their department that contacts alumni about financial donations. The first interview went splendidly well and I was called for a second one. The next interview I felt like a deer in headlights. I was not prepared for being interviewed by six people and had not done my research on the department. I assume I didn't get the job as they never called me back to let me know either way.

In January I went to a luncheon for people interested in helping with the youth at church. I sat next to a woman and we somehow talked about my job search and what I was looking for. She told me to send me a resume because she was thinking about quitting her current job and thought I might be a good fit for a replacement. So I did. The program director called me to invite me to come in for an interview for the position. I used my experience from the last interview process to read up on the company and position and prepare myself. I felt pretty good after the interview process and was offered the job.

Some of my former co-workers

I started the job the same week we bought our first house (which would place me 30 minutes closer to my new job from the apartment we had been living in). I really enjoyed my new co-workers. I felt like the company and my role were beneficial to others. I worked as a Parent Counselor at a Child Care Resource & Referral Agency and spent my time helping parents find local quality child care that met their needs.

Toward the end of my second year at the company I was beginning to feel stressed about my job. The reporting requirements changed several times which was confusing and there was discussion of moving my position to downtown Atlanta. In my church small group one evening I shared my stress with work during prayer requests. Our group leader, who was also our church pastor, called me a couple of weeks later and asked if I might be interested in working part-time as the admin for the church. I was excited at the prospect but wanted to discuss it with my husband and pray.

We had begun the discussion of starting a family and the plan was for me to stay home with our children when that time came. I thought moving to part-time would help us to move toward the goal of living off of just my husband's income. Others suggested we just save all of my current paycheck but I knew a gradual step down would be more helpful for us and we could work on saving all of my new paycheck. So I accepted the offer and started working at the church.

A fun group to work with (and a complete opposite male/female balance from my previous job)

I loved working in the church office doing administrative things and whatever else was asked of me. I enjoyed spending time with the pastors and having opportunities to go to conferences like Catalyst. During my first year of working at the church I became pregnant. My boss mentioned to me that he wanted me to go to a conference at the end of April the following year and I said I didn't know if I could make it. He first thought I was quitting but was excited to learn it was just close to my due date.

My (wonderful and compassionate) pastor told me that I could bring my baby in to work with me in order to be able to keep working for the church. I decided to try it out. It worked okay for awhile but as my daughter grew, the work schedule began hindering her naps so I chose to quit and officially stay home full-time when she was seven months old. I was very sad to end that job as it had been my favorite work environment and experience to date.

My adorable office companion

Well, there's the majority of my work history (minus random odd jobs and babysitting). It is so amazing to see all of the ways God led and provided for me. The orchestrations of meeting specific people still blow my mind. Whenever I think about how trustworthy God has been in this area of my life, I am inspired and encouraged to trust him in all of the other areas.


So, now it's your turn. Where do you feel God has been most faithful and trustworthy in your life? I'd love to hear and be inspired by your story!

My Life Puzzle

Our church is in the middle of a three week series called Puzzled. The overarching theme is summed up in a key phrase: In your doubts of today, trust in His tomorrows.

On the first Sunday there was a puzzle piece in each seat to help us think about the message throughout the week. I picked up a puzzle peace that was two shades of blue. I chose the piece because blue is my favorite color and it would help me to think that, although I don't have a picture of what my life will look like when finished (because life doesn't have a box with a completed picture on it like most puzzles do), with God in charge it will look beautiful.

This Sunday I again had the thought that although I may not be able to see the whole picture, I can trust God that it will be beautiful. I only have to look at nature to see the creativity and beauty God is able to create. Then I thought that although a rainbow-hued picture may be beautiful, I really hope that when my life puzzle is complete it looks like this:

Image courtesy of zole4 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)

A Yearly Review

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I have been thinking back over the past year and feel like I have experienced a lot of personal growth as a person and in my relationship with God. It started when I began participating in the women's Bible study at our church where we went through the book Seeking Him. I have a few posts from last fall that speak about some of my experiences with the study (and I would HIGHLY recommend going through the study if you desire to grow in your relationship with God). I thought it would be fun to list some of the highlights of this past year for future reference.

Here is my recap of God's work in me this past year:

• a better understanding/grasp of God's grace
• the realization that I can't change me but I can ask God to do so and he is faithful (I used to think that if I just tried harder I would be better.)
• more consistent and meaningful times of prayer and Bible reading
• a stronger desire for and pursuit of God
• awareness of weak areas or strongholds in my life and a partnership with God to strengthen the weak areas and break the strongholds (related growth - believing God's truth instead of the enemy's lies)
• more time in God's word and hiding it in my heart (memorization, especially verses that speak to struggles I am dealing with)
• recognizing God's hand and provision in my life
• more purposeful/meaningful relationships with others
• increased recognition and following of promptings by the Holy Spirit
• choosing to seek God more in difficult times

So that's my list. I know that I am not always successful at all of these and I still have a long way to go in terms of living like Christ and for Christ. I need growth in choosing God's agenda over mine, consistently/constantly tuning my heart to God, selfishness (oh the selfishness), praying more for others, choosing opportunities to serve others more. The good news is that God is faithful will complete his purposes in and for me.

What changes have you seen God working in you this past year?

"With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

Yesterday's message at church was based on Matthew 5:4, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. It made me smile (seems contradictory I know) because I have been going through a grieving process of sorts recently in the loss of a close friendship. It didn't really occur to me that this is what I've been doing until Aaron began talking more in depth on the verse. I see that it is good that I am trying to sort everything out with God so that I will be able to move forward into new friendships without bringing along any bitterness or hardness of heart.

And the verse is accurate. Jesus has come right along with me to give me hope and encouragement and peace throughout the process. No one wants good things to end but that is life. If we continue to try to hold on to what was, we will miss what is and what could be.

Another thing that humbled me was realizing how small and insignificant my "loss" is compared to others. There are people dealing with lost jobs, poor health, a family member's illness, death. It almost seems silly to mourn a lost relationship in light of those. And yet I was reminded that God still cares about my loss just as much as the losses of others. How incredible my God is! He loves me so much that nothing is too small or insignificant to him. If it matters to me or you, he cares. Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19).


Praise the Lord, my soul;
 all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul;
 and forget not all his benefits -
who forgive all your sins
 and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
 and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
 so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
             ~Psalm 103:1-5~

Sometimes the Truth Hurts

  I've been posting lately mostly from what has been going on presently in my life. Today I shall continue with that trend. Once again I will be referencing the Seeking Him study. If you are looking to have an authentic, deeper relationship with God I highly recommend this book. It can be done on your own but it has been wonderful being able to talk about it in a group setting with other women.

  Week three of the study was about honesty. Honesty is what allows us to truly connect with God and others (honesty in connection with repentance in God's case). We can't really grow into the people we were created to be unless we are willing to be open about who we are. I know that I struggle with the desire to hide my sins and temptations. I want people to think that I am doing a-okay and have this God-thing down. I have the prideful desire to be seen as having it all together. The truth is that I don't.

Image by stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  At church we've been going through a series called Rise and Fall which follows the life of David. Our overarching verse for the series is 1 Corinthians 10:12, So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! It's been encouraging to be reminded that everyone has highs and lows. There is no one who is not susceptible to temptation. It is also hope giving to see that a mistake does not cut you off from God's plan for your life. It does not mean he can no longer use you. If you are willing to be honest about your mistake, confessing it to him in repentance, your relationship with God can be restored.

  In our honesty chapter two verses were given to us as reminders. Luke 12:2 There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. and Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

  These verses were brought to my mind last week when I found myself in a situation where I could be a woman of integrity and honesty or commit a sin of omission. The kids and I went to Family Christian to purchase a gift. While there I also picked up a few other things I couldn't seem to leave behind. I used a coupon which I was quite excited about. When I got home I looked over the receipt and noticed that two of the items I purchased had not been rung up. Part of me had this thought: Score! It's not your fault that the items didn't ring up so you can keep them. The part of me that is being changed through our study reminded me of the verses above and thought: Even if it wasn't your fault you have realized the error and you should correct it. There's a good chance I wouldn't have shared this dilemma with you if I had chosen not to take the stuff back to the store to pay for it. I was dreading taking the kids back again and spending more time on this errand I thought was finished. However, I did also see that this was a wonderful teaching opportunity for my three year old and I attempted to explain the situation in a way she could understand. [Full disclosure: This may not seem like a big issue to some, but I can be a little tight with money. I tend to jump on opportunities to save. Choosing to pay more money for something when I don't have to is uncomfortable and a stretch for me.]

  A similar circumstance happened a few years ago at a different store. I purchased a few things. It seemed to me that one did not ring up so I said this to the clerk and she said that everything was fine. I paid and went home. At home I looked over my receipt and saw that indeed the item did not get rung up. I did not return to the store to correct the error. At the time I rationalized this choice because I had said something to the clerk during the transaction.

  I am thankful that now my heart is being bent toward greater depths of honesty and integrity. I am not enjoying the random reminders of past instances of dishonesty or compromised integrity God is bringing to mind. They make me uncomfortable and a little disappointed in myself. However I can rejoice in the knowledge that the reminders afford me the opportunity for true repentance and forgiveness.


Do you ever struggle with honesty? The sin of omission? Do you find that, although God's work in your heart hurts at times, ultimately it brings joy and healing?

A Lesson in Humility

The past two Sundays I have received encouragement from God during church (written about previously here and here). As I prepared for church this past Sunday I looked forward to what God would reveal to me that morning. I do realize that I should probably approach every day looking for God to speak truth to me - I'm a work in progress. It seems that am beginning a season where I feel more open to God and am trying to have a heart that is tender toward him.

Two weeks ago I started attending the women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings. We are doing a study called Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom. The first week was an introduction to what revival means. The fifth day of the personal study gave an assessment to show us areas in our lives where we could use God to work. It was quite revealing. One of the first areas where I was convicted was in humility.

I don't really consider myself a boastful person. I am an introvert so I don't tend to take over conversations or talk about everything I have done and am doing. However I don't necessarily rejoice with those who are receiving accolades and success and sometimes I ruminate when my contributions are not acknowledged. So, naturally, week two of the study is all about humility.

I am actually glad that this topic is dealt with more in depth. It has allowed me to see ways that pride (the opposite of humility) is manifested in my life. My pride tends to deal with my self-image and what I allow others to see (or how I want others to see me). I am guilty of trying to do as much as possible on my own so that I can be the one who "does it all". I'm not good at asking for help or depending on others. I struggle with being open about my mistakes because I fear others will judge me harshly. I tend to compare various aspects of myself with others.

What ought I to be doing instead? Being open to others and asking for help when needed. Admitting my mistakes, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation when I wrong others or others wrong me and finding my worth in Christ. I was not created to be another Christy or Tracy or Amanda. I was created for a unique purpose. And I wasn't made to be perfect or faultless. If I was, I'd have no need for grace or Jesus.

Now back to Sunday morning. I am not a very demonstrative person. For the last couple of weeks I have been thinking that I should lift my hands some when singing praise songs to God in church. Not because others are but because I want to show my love for and devotion to God. It has been an internal struggle because part of me feels foolish and thinks it might draw attention (the introvert in me). However, I realized on Sunday while singing that it was part pride as well. I was concerned with what others would think. Was I at church to please other people? No. Was I singing for the benefit of other people? No. (By the by, it has taken me quite a few years to feel comfortable singing out loud with other people. I'm still not completely there but it doesn't really hinder me like it used to. Not that this means I'll do any kind of solo singing for anyone other than my kids either.) So I spent a good part of the music time debating whether or not to raise my arms. It carried into the message time. I affirmed to myself, "If there's music at the end of the service (there nearly always is) I'll raise my hands then."

We finished the time of communion after the message and the band began to play. "Okay," I said to myself, "the moment of truth." And then we sang this part of Hillsong United's "The Stand":

I'll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the one who gave it all

I'll stand

My soul Lord to you surrendered

All I am is yours

I laughed to myself at the absurdity of my conundrum. God is so good and faithful! I raised my arms to about chest level with palms up. That may not seem like much but it's a huge step for me. I know God will continue to meet me where I am and lead me to where he wants me to go. My job is to continue to acknowledge his promptings, confess any sin that is revealed, repent, and take steps forward.


How is God working in your life right now? Do you also struggle with humility? Trust God and take that first step toward where he is calling you!

Living For His Glory

Image by suwatpo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday at church there was a new person singing with the band. I was blown away at the beauty of his voice. It was powerful and passionate. I felt joy watching him use his God-given abilities for the glory of God. It got me thinking about all of the people I have seen using their abilities in a glorifying way. All of the members of the band at church do this. Our various speakers do this as well. So do the people welcoming everyone to church and those teaching and loving on the kids in the children's ministry. There's something so encouraging to me when I see the joy and passion in the face of the person giving of themselves in order to point to Jesus. 

While I was listening to and singing the lyrics of the songs and listening to our pastor speak passionately about focusing on what God looks at rather than what man does, it fanned the flame of my desire to live purposefully and to use my abilities for God's glory. I know that he has given me abilities with the written word. I want to be faithful to write regularly about my experiences for the purpose of encouraging others who may be facing similar situations. I know that God can use my words and my life for his purposes. That's my heart's greatest desire. And, essentially, that's my mission for this blog - to provide hope and encouragement to others. 

Does seeing someone else living purposefully and glorifying God cultivate a desire in you to do the same? What are abilities you possess that you could use to bring glory to God?

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me

Here I am, use me for Your glory

In everything I say and do, let my life honor You

Here I am living for Your glory

~Tim Hughes and Rachel Hughes, Living For Your Glory~