Losing One's Life

We are going through a series at church called, Things I Wish Jesus Never Said which is about hard truths. A couple of weeks ago the focus was on Mark 8:34-37:

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

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Damian Boyd, pastor of Vertical Church in downtown Atlanta, shared his story with us. Below are the notes I took from what he shared.

*What does it really look like to lose my life for God's kingdom?
*How dare you (I) not give Jesus everything?! He deserves everything.
*Jesus wants to be everything to/for me.
*Look for ways to empty your life.
*Live for more than your comfort and convenience.
*Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

This was a very challenging and convicting message for me. What are the things that I hold back from giving to Jesus? Why do I think that worldly things are better than all that Jesus has to offer me? I am constantly amazed at God's provision for me and yet I still live as though he is not completely trustworthy. There is nothing this life and world can offer that could possibly compare to Jesus and yet my life does not represent this knowledge. For some reason, it has not reached my heart and translated into thoughts and actions. Am I afraid of missing out on something? This fear is actually causing me to miss out - to miss out on the things God has for me. I drag my feet when called to be obedient rather than fully trusting and believing Jesus is all I need and all I could possibly want.

It's nice seeking comfort and convenience. It's hard to choose discomfort and inconvenience. Unless. Unless by choosing discomfort and inconvenience, I find my purpose for this life. Unless I become engaged with God's plans and find myself living for God's kingdom and for things that truly last, things that moth and rust cannot destroy. In those moments when I feel that I am doing what I was made to do, when my desires and actions are aligned with God, I feel truly alive. What if I could feel truly alive all day every day? What if the seemingly mundane things of daily living were done for God rather than man? What if each morning I turned my heart toward God and sought his agenda? What if I really did seek to empty my life of that which is unnecessary and unneeded in order to have room for God's plans?

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God's Reassurance

I have eczema (also called dermatitis) that affects some of the skin on my hands and face. It comes and goes depending on the weather, and seems to be more prevalent right now (probably due to all of the weather swings we've been experiencing). I am somewhat self-conscious about the dry skin on my face because it's noticed the most (obviously). It has caused me to question my attractiveness as I don't find the condition very pretty. This morning I was feeling particularly vulnerable to these thoughts and wanted to talk about it with my husband because he is good about reassuring me when I need it. Of course, today is the day he will be gone all day and I will not see him before I go to bed.

I was praying about all of this and asked why it seems that whenever I am in need of some sort of reassurance it coincides with the unavailability of my spouse. I had a thought and voiced it to God. "Are you trying to tell me that you want me to come to you for reassurance and comfort? Am I to seek my value and worth from you?" Well, duh, right? I know that God loves me, has a purpose for me, created me the way I am, and finds me very valuable. I struggle sometimes with claiming these truths and seeking peace and reassurance from my Creator. 

So I spent some time looking through the Bible to remind myself of what God values and finds beautiful. I first read 1 Samuel 16:7 to remind myself that God looks at my heart. The most encouraging verses were found in 1 Peter 3:3-6, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and DO NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR."

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I have noticed lately that the enemy has been trying to use fear to immobilize me and break down my relationships. Perhaps I should spend some time reminding myself of all of God's do not fear proclamations in Scripture.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Do you turn to God first for comfort and reassurance? Do you have a verse that encourages you to keep going when you are feeling discouraged?

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

Yesterday's message at church was based on Matthew 5:4, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. It made me smile (seems contradictory I know) because I have been going through a grieving process of sorts recently in the loss of a close friendship. It didn't really occur to me that this is what I've been doing until Aaron began talking more in depth on the verse. I see that it is good that I am trying to sort everything out with God so that I will be able to move forward into new friendships without bringing along any bitterness or hardness of heart.

And the verse is accurate. Jesus has come right along with me to give me hope and encouragement and peace throughout the process. No one wants good things to end but that is life. If we continue to try to hold on to what was, we will miss what is and what could be.

Another thing that humbled me was realizing how small and insignificant my "loss" is compared to others. There are people dealing with lost jobs, poor health, a family member's illness, death. It almost seems silly to mourn a lost relationship in light of those. And yet I was reminded that God still cares about my loss just as much as the losses of others. How incredible my God is! He loves me so much that nothing is too small or insignificant to him. If it matters to me or you, he cares. Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens (Psalm 68:19).


Praise the Lord, my soul;
 all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul;
 and forget not all his benefits -
who forgive all your sins
 and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
 and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
 so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
             ~Psalm 103:1-5~