A Letter to My 18-Year-Old Self

Dear Eighteen-Year-Old Me,

Hello there! It's me, your 33-year-old self. It's been nearly sixteen years since you graduated high school and began preparing for college life. I know you are very excited to see what the next chapter of life would hold. I'm sure you are a little nervous venturing out on your own, especially knowing your parents will be 10+ hours away. Of course, you have been somewhat prepared for this having spent the majority of your summers away from your parents visiting relatives. It's just one more new adventure!

I know that you are not sure what you should study but have signed up for the engineering track at the suggestion of your parents. You will end up taking many more math and science classes than you end up needing for graduation when you finally find majors that best suit your wiring, but there will be a big upside to having taken engineering classes (specifically Statistics for Engineers). You don't know it yet, but that class will profoundly and positively impact your life.

If I could truly go back and offer you some advice before you begin your time at N.C. State (which you love, by the way), here is a part of what I would want to say.

Just because someone shows interest in dating you, it doesn't mean that's a relationship you need to pursue. I know you've only really dated one person thus far but not all relationships will be as positive and healthy as that one was. You need to work on deepening your relationship with Jesus and seeking him. God loves you dearly. He has a purpose for you that he will fulfill. Whether or not you end up with a spouse, God's plans will be better than anything you can imagine. If you have the desire for a husband, give it to him in prayer and trust him to provide in his timing. God is faithful and trustworthy.

Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ and his church. Any dating relationship you have should be characterized by respect, love, grace and selflessness (from both of you). Here are a few questions you may want to ask yourself when considering a dating relationship. Does he love God? Does he attend church? Pray and read his Bible regularly? Is he involved in a Christian group, Bible study or other activity to deepen his relationship with Christ? (Experience will tell you that behavior is the best indicator of what someone believes.) Does he treat you with respect? Does he listen to and value your opinion? Does he try to push physical boundaries? Does he desire to see you grow and succeed? Will he encourage you in your relationship with Christ?

It is very important for you to answer the questions asked above about yourself. You are young in your faith and have a lot of growing to do. If you seek to grow closer to God and join activities that will encourage you in this way, you will flourish. Ask God to help you find these things. He will provide some amazing friends, connections and experiences.

I know that I cannot go back and change what you will experience, but I hope that what you learn can help other young women as they prepare for their own college career. To that extent, I wrote a book for college-age women (info below). I hope that they will learn from your experiences and avoid some of your mistakes. I have some sorrow and regret over choices made during college but, praise God, he has brought good from it!

Don't worry, you will have a fabulous time and meet some great people that you will still keep up with when you're my age (mostly thanks to the invention of Facebook that is not yet an idea in Mark Z's head). Your mistakes will not be fatal. You will learn, grow and change. You will become much more confident and self-assured as you age. You will also acquire a lot more responsibility so enjoy your relatively tether-free time in college!

Love,
Thirty-three-year-old Me

Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman

Will you head off to college soon? Or perhaps you've already started at a university and found the going a little rough? Have you prepared yourself for all that you may experience, both on-campus and off? Do you know how to strengthen your faith and locate resources to help draw you closer to God? Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman can help you prepare for campus life. In this book, you'll learn about... 

• Strengthening your relationship with God
• The importance of finding a Christian group on campus 
• The different types of guys you will encounter 
• What to do if you mess up 
• Potential stumbling blocks to your faith and your relationships 
• Straight talk about sex 

Through reading candid, real-life stories and advice from Christian women about their time at college, you'll discover that you're not the only one facing challenges and struggles on campus. Even more importantly, you'll learn about great opportunities for redemption, success, and a rich adventure with God.


If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman, please email me at  mybyrdlife at gmail.com. Copies are $10 each. Shipping is $3 (free if you're local and we can meet in person). Thanks!

A Yearly Review

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I have been thinking back over the past year and feel like I have experienced a lot of personal growth as a person and in my relationship with God. It started when I began participating in the women's Bible study at our church where we went through the book Seeking Him. I have a few posts from last fall that speak about some of my experiences with the study (and I would HIGHLY recommend going through the study if you desire to grow in your relationship with God). I thought it would be fun to list some of the highlights of this past year for future reference.

Here is my recap of God's work in me this past year:

• a better understanding/grasp of God's grace
• the realization that I can't change me but I can ask God to do so and he is faithful (I used to think that if I just tried harder I would be better.)
• more consistent and meaningful times of prayer and Bible reading
• a stronger desire for and pursuit of God
• awareness of weak areas or strongholds in my life and a partnership with God to strengthen the weak areas and break the strongholds (related growth - believing God's truth instead of the enemy's lies)
• more time in God's word and hiding it in my heart (memorization, especially verses that speak to struggles I am dealing with)
• recognizing God's hand and provision in my life
• more purposeful/meaningful relationships with others
• increased recognition and following of promptings by the Holy Spirit
• choosing to seek God more in difficult times

So that's my list. I know that I am not always successful at all of these and I still have a long way to go in terms of living like Christ and for Christ. I need growth in choosing God's agenda over mine, consistently/constantly tuning my heart to God, selfishness (oh the selfishness), praying more for others, choosing opportunities to serve others more. The good news is that God is faithful will complete his purposes in and for me.

What changes have you seen God working in you this past year?

"With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands. Psalm 138:8

Living For His Glory

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Yesterday at church there was a new person singing with the band. I was blown away at the beauty of his voice. It was powerful and passionate. I felt joy watching him use his God-given abilities for the glory of God. It got me thinking about all of the people I have seen using their abilities in a glorifying way. All of the members of the band at church do this. Our various speakers do this as well. So do the people welcoming everyone to church and those teaching and loving on the kids in the children's ministry. There's something so encouraging to me when I see the joy and passion in the face of the person giving of themselves in order to point to Jesus. 

While I was listening to and singing the lyrics of the songs and listening to our pastor speak passionately about focusing on what God looks at rather than what man does, it fanned the flame of my desire to live purposefully and to use my abilities for God's glory. I know that he has given me abilities with the written word. I want to be faithful to write regularly about my experiences for the purpose of encouraging others who may be facing similar situations. I know that God can use my words and my life for his purposes. That's my heart's greatest desire. And, essentially, that's my mission for this blog - to provide hope and encouragement to others. 

Does seeing someone else living purposefully and glorifying God cultivate a desire in you to do the same? What are abilities you possess that you could use to bring glory to God?

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me

Here I am, use me for Your glory

In everything I say and do, let my life honor You

Here I am living for Your glory

~Tim Hughes and Rachel Hughes, Living For Your Glory~