Forgiveness and Love

This year there has been one section of scripture that I have continued to return to when evaluating my life. It is Matthew 22:34-40.

 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these to commandments."

To make it easier to remember, it can be summed up as this: Love God. Love people. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially the "love people" part. I can be very task oriented at times which does not always leave room for people. However, I do desire to be more willing to exchange my agenda for God's, which usually is about loving and caring for others.

Recently there was a Sunday sermon about forgiving others. I recognized that I held a few small grudges against people, fairly insignificant things that wouldn't be very difficult to let go of and move forward. I don't feel like I have received large injuries from other people that might require more wrestling and struggling to forgive.

This thought led me to think of a friend of mine who is having serious relationship issues. They are currently enduring emotional pain and struggle. I realized that I held anger toward the spouse. I was thinking about my friend and felt sad that they are hurting and have limited control over the circumstances. I wanted to have someone to blame for the pain, hurt and mess and the spouse seemed like the obvious choice. Realizing these feelings I asked God to show me how I could love both people in this situation.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

God reminded me that the spouse is human, just like me. They make mistakes and poor choices that hurt others at times, just like me. They are probably hurt, confused, and frustrated themselves right now, just like my friend. They probably do not want to cause pain to their spouse. They desire the same things we all desire - to be loved, known and accepted. The spouse is worthy of love and respect, just like me. They are deeply loved by God, just like me. God desires to show them grace just as he has shown me grace.

God also reminded me that my friend's spouse is not really the enemy. Satan is the true enemy, the father of lies. With this knowledge, I ought to be praying for both my friend and their spouse. I need to pray for the truth to be spoken into this situation and into both of their lives. I need to pray for supernatural healing and restoration. Because of Jesus there is hope that this situation can be redeemed.

My heart is being softened and I'm learning that it is possible (though definitely not always easy or natural) to show grace and love even in difficult situations. Of course, so far the offenses against me have been minor and not very life altering or affecting. I have a strong suspicion that more grievous offenses require greater amounts of God's power to love and forgive and extend grace.

Earlier this week I learned that someone I went to high school with appears to also be struggling in their relationship. The person wasn't always the kindest to me so my first reaction was tinged with a bit of gladness at their misfortune. I was surprised at my callous reaction and realized it meant I still held some unforgiveness after all of these years. I asked God to help me to see this person through eyes of love and grace. This person also wants what we all want - love, companionship, acceptance. So I prayed that they would receive these things. I prayed that they would know that Jesus loves them and can comfort and help them during this difficult time.

I am so thankful that God is changing my heart toward others. I know that loving God and people will take my whole life to master but I desperately want to get better at both. It definitely is painful at times to learn how I am falling short in these areas but I know that it is necessary for change and growth.

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Breaking Out of the Christian Bubble

I am reading the book Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity by Jen Hatmaker with a group of women. We had our first meeting last night to discuss the first section in the book. I am already looking forward to future discussions.

One of the things that really stuck out to me from the book was when Jen talked about how she spent most of her time blessing blessed people and serving the saved. She's essentially talking about the Christian bubble. I know that I spend the majority of my time with like-minded people in terms of God.

My daughter in her own little bubble

I don't think that it's bad to spend time with other Christians. It's a great way to find encouragement and support. However, if every person I am with already loves and serves God then how am I fulfilling Jesus' desire for us to love the lost, hurt, disenfranchised, etc?

I am a SAHM so the best place for me to find such people would be through my kids - preschool, activities, play groups, playgrounds and play places. With the statistic that 85% of the people/families in the area do not attend church it shouldn't be too hard to find people who do not already have a strong relationship with Jesus.

I have several hang ups in pursuing others in this manner. First, I am more of an introvert. I don't usually strike up conversations with strangers. I'm sure if I felt compelled or a strong urging I could do it occasionally, but it's definitely not my strong suit (though I have recently found that God has been asking me to do things that are more of a weakness so that he can be the strength I need to achieve the goal). Probably at worst, the person would ignore me which is only a little awkward. At best, I might make a new friend. I think the awkwardness is probably worth the effort.

A second reservation is that it seems like I already am not able to spend enough time with all of the people in my life I'd like to spend time with. There are so many amazing people and I would love to get to know them all better and be more involved in their lives. As it is, the person I consider my best friend I have to schedule a decent ways in advance and we get to spend quality time together once or twice a month. Not that my schedule is packed with these kinds of meetings. There are, of course, family responsibilities - kid activities, cleaning, laundry, cooking, errands, family activities, etc - that require the majority of my time.

The thought of trying to cram one more thing into my schedule is a little overwhelming. I have considered scaling back and seeking God's leading for activities and meetings. Most of my current things are good things, but too many good things doesn't necessarily mean better or best. So while less does not necessarily appeal to me, it may be what I need in this season. Perhaps less trying to connect with everyone and seeking God's leading for the most important things. Maybe I should be like Jen and figure out who "my people" are. Then maybe there will be room for the important work of loving and serving those who don't know Jesus or have a thriving relationship with him (which, in the end, may not really feel like work).

A third thing that causes me to pause when considering reaching out to people who may not know Jesus is the thought that I will not be able to give satisfying answers to questions they may have. I love God and know that he exists. A large part of my belief comes from personal experience. My faith does not come from receiving a logical and/or scientific explanation for all my objections. I still have questions without answers.

I know that there are many intellectual people out there who want these kinds of reasoning and logic to help them make a decision for or against God. I had a good friend in college who was this way. I felt quite inadequate in my ability to provide a compelling case for my beliefs. In the end, God used my contributions of love and acceptance for his purposes.

I ought to remember this experience that illustrates well that it is not me who will cause another's belief. It will ultimately be God working in a person's heart and that person's own encounters with God. My role is to live what I believe and be open to sharing my experiences with others. The rest is up to God.

And perhaps that is how I ought to live each day - open to encounters God may have for me. Choosing to be open to anything and not staying doggedly focused on my own agenda or to do list. To trust that seeking God will help me to choose what is needed. What is better.