My Goals for 2017

  Last year I was fairly ambitious with my goal setting. I was not successful in keeping them all perfectly, but the real aim is improvement and growth. Normally I would beat myself up for failure but I have been growing in my understanding and acceptance of grace.

  Last year I also learned more about trusting God and the importance of rest. I still struggle with choosing rest over productivity at times but I am seeing the benefits of resting and trying to rest in the knowledge that my worth and value and acceptance are not based on achievement. I have subtitled 2017: The Year of Less. With all of that said, this year's goal list is short.

1. Call one family member each week.

  For some people this is something that is a regular part of their life. That is not the case for me. My family is spread out, mostly on the western side of the country. I see some of them about once per year. My immediate family has never really been one for regular communication - we don't have a history of contacting one another unless there's something important to share. Since I've had kids, we have had a little more frequent contact, mainly Facetime/Skype so my parents can see the grandkids. But anyone with small children can tell you that not a lot of important information is able to be communicated while conversing with toddlers and preschoolers.

Facetime with my niece

  Last year I struggled a lot with loneliness and a desire for greater community. I realized that I could do something to feel more connected with my family members - more regular communication. I'm not a huge fan of talking on the phone (part introvert, part distraction from my kids), but it's the most effective option for me at this time. I would like to feel like I am more aware of what's going on with my family and hope that this will improve our intimacy and connectedness. 

  I have thus far called a different family member each week and have enjoyed catching up. I can tell it surprised them to have me call randomly. One person was concerned that something was wrong because I was calling them (proof I should call more often). I think I will enjoy this goal very much. Even if I don't manage to connect with someone weekly, I will benefit from more regular contact however frequent it ends up being.

2. One date night with my husband each month.

  Again, I realize that some may see this as a low bar, something they easily achieve. Once again, not for me. It's not that we struggle with wanting to spend time together away from the kids. We enjoy date nights. In the past our schedules have been too full to have time for a date. We also have to find a babysitter every time because we don't have family nearby. With finding a babysitter, our date night costs are greater than we'd like sometimes. But money should not be what keeps us from having some fun, maybe even an adventure, to keep us connected.

  It helps that our kids are older and easy to babysit. They're practically self-sufficient. Having it as a goal will hopefully helps us to keep date night a priority in our minds. We've already had to reschedule January's date three times (once for weather, once for a change in plans, once for babysitter conflict). Not a huge deal as we haven't settled on an official plan. I am finding it humorous (and not surprising) that the first one is taking so much time and effort. The enemy enjoys trying to thwart our efforts. Knowing there are eleven other dates to plan is helping me to think of things we could do or places we could go for a different experience. It is exciting!

  Additionally, we are working toward going on a couple's vacation this year. We haven't had a real vacation without the kids since before we had kids (so at least 7 years). We did have a day trip in Sedona and a couple of days in Yellowstone a few years back but I'm talking about taking a plane somewhere where we're completely out of contact for a bit. I'm definitely looking forward to this!

  So those are my official goals for the year. It appears the focus is on relationships. It seems like a natural segue after all of my loneliness talk last year. I felt that these goals were Spirit-led so I am excited to see what happens.

  I do still want to work on blogging more regularly and being present with my family at home. There are always a myriad of possible improvements in my life but I recognize that I don't have to do it all at once (or, actually, do it all period). I'm also still going to make sure reading is a regular part of my life as it's something that helps me relax and refresh but I don't have a set goal for books this year.

  I do also have a goal (desire) to finish my book revisions and have it available online before May. It has a deadline so it's a little different from my regular goals. We will see how that goes.

What are your goals for 2017? Have you made so many that you feel overwhelmed before you started? Perhaps cut the goals in half (or by half)? Remember the spirit of setting goals - motivation to work on something you want to improve in your life.

January Book Review

We're at the end of the month so it's time for the first (of twelve) edition of Books Megan Read This Month! I'm sure you're quite excited (wish I had a sarcasm font). I realize I may be the only one who ends up reviewing these pages but I'm okay with that as it will be a handy refresher for me.

1. Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes by Kristen Welch

Full disclosure: I applied for and was selected to be part of the launch team for this book. I applied because the title was quite appealing to me as a mother. I LOVED this book! I have a more detailed review of the book in a different post but I highly recommend this book to all of my parent friends out there. In addition to being encouraged that it is possible to teach our children gratitude and contentment I was also reminded that I am not responsible for my children's entertainment every waking hour of the day (which, as a SAHM, I sometimes feel like that's part of the job description and can feel guilty about trying to get housework or errands done instead of playing with my kids non-stop). Here's a favorite quote:

I bought into the lie that it's my job to make my kids' childhood magical and fun, to guarantee that every day will be an adventure all about them.                                         Our children need to be bored. They need to kick their feet and wait outside of bathroom doors, unanswered. They need to be sent outside or to their rooms to play. They need to turn over the bag of tricks and find it empty.                                                               Because that's when they will discover they don't need stuff to fill their time. They don't need a plan for entertainment. They can create their own. p.74 

2. A Girl's Guide to Moving On: A Novel by Debbie Macomber

 It seems like I've read something else by her because her name is familiar but I'm not certain. I did a quick search and learned that this book will not be officially released until February 23rd. I think I found it on NetGalley, a book site where you can submit a request to read books in digital versions before their official release. Anyway, I found it to be quite an engaging read. It was fairly predictable in its rhythm and conclusion but I like books with positive endings so I was okay with that. It's a good fiction read about a woman and her mother-in-law helping each other get through their divorces and start fresh.

3. Song of the Meadowlark (Intertwined Book 1) by Sherri Wilson Johnson

I have previously read all of Sherri's "Hope of the South" historical Christian fiction novels and thoroughly enjoyed them. We are friends so I am working on reading all of her books. This was the fourth of five for me. This one is contemporary Christian fiction. It is a very engaging story about a young woman trying to move on from her past who gets stranded in a small town in Georgia on her way to visit her parents in Florida. If you like books with an encouraging message and positive ending, check out this book.

4. Time Management Mama: Making Use of the Margins to Pursue Your Passions by Sarah Korhnak and Beth Anne Schwamberger

This was a quick and helpful read. I have wanted to figure out how to make more time to work on my blog without casting my other responsibilities aside. This book is written by two entrepreneurial women with families who have plenty of experience in the trenches. The chapters offer helpful tips and advice for various avenues of a woman's life - family, household chores, business needs, personal aspirations, etc. The end of each chapter has a synopsis of suggestions for using your time wisely in that particular area. The book helped me to define my passions and come up with a measurable goal to work on this year in each of them. It reminded me that I don't have time to do everything so I need to focus on what's most important to me right now. Perhaps there will be time for my other goals next year or when I complete one of my current goals. My time is valuable and I want to use it the best way I can. If you feel like there's no time in your schedule to pursue activities that are important to you, check out this book. You may find ways to be more productive that allow you to free up some time for your passions.

5. The Girl on the Train: A Novel by Paula Hawkins

I didn't know much about this book other than it was popular last year. It sucked me in quite quickly and reminded me a bit of Gone Girl which I read last year. A woman (Megan - kind of weird to read about someone with the same name) goes missing and a woman (Rachel) who used to watch her in her yard from the train she road nearly daily wants to figure out what happened. She knows she was in the vicinity the night Megan went missing and wonders if perhaps she knows something but can't remember (because she is a heavy drinker and has blackout periods where she has no recollection of large chunks of time). I spent the majority of the book trying to figure out what happened and whether Rachel was involved. The book shifts between time periods (before and after the disappearance) and the point of view of Rachel, Megan and a third woman, Anna. This is a book that can be read in a day if you are able to sit and read without distraction (I have two kids so this isn't possible for me). It was very engaging and had my mind trying to solve the mystery throughout. I did not find it predictable in the least.

6. King of the Comics by Stephan Pastis

This is a book containing a bunch of Pearls Before Swine comic strips. I have read this comic off and on. My parents introduced me to it. The zebra and crocodile story line is generally quite entertaining. Pig is one of my favorite characters because of his innocence and naivety. Stephan uses a lot of puns in his strips and also makes fun of this use. It's a clever and entertaining comic.

7. Guilt Free Motherhood: A 5 Step Guide to Reclaiming Your Time, Health and Well-Being by Amber Khan

I don't know any mom who doesn't have something about motherhood that she feels guilty about. It could be not spending enough time with her kids, not contributing financially to the household, spending time on her health and well-being, not keeping the house clean enough, not being like the other moms. It could be any number of things. This book addresses just about anything you could be feeling guilty about and offers suggestions to help you in your particular struggle. The author is British so some of the sayings and words are a bit unusual. It's a fairly quick read which is good as most moms don't have a ton of free time. 

8. Secrets Among the Cedars (Intertwined Book 2) by Sherri Wilson Johnson

This is the second book in the series. I know there is at least one more planned. This book is about a district attorney in Cedar Key, Florida who is trying to find a key piece of evidence for a murder trial she is prosecuting. She meets a man who used to be a defense attorney and he ends up trying to help her while protecting her from threats she is receiving. There is suspense, danger and a little romance. A fun read.

9. Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home by Richard J. Foster

This was a wonderful book! A very in depth guide to various types and practices of prayer. The book is broken into three sections: Inward, Upward, and Outward prayer. I enjoyed gaining a better understanding of what various prayer focuses consist of. Part way through the book I felt like I was a terrible prayer because I feel like most of my prayers are self-focused (but, I was assured, that is also an acceptable type of prayer). I also am a perfectionist so I struggle with wanting each prayer time to consist of ALL the various types of prayer, which is impossible and a little ridiculous. I'm glad I kept reading because I was comforted to know that it's okay to be where I am in my prayer life. God will continue to guide me as I consistently spend time in prayer. This is a book I would like to keep as a reference for when I am struggling and in need of direction. Unfortunately for me, this is a borrowed book so I will have to acquire my own copy. If you are desiring to grow in your prayer life I highly recommend this book.

10. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

This was a very quick and engaging read. The main character reminded me some of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. A genetics scientist and professor, Don Tillman, has decided that he is ready to find a life partner so he begins "The Wife Project". He enlists help from his friend, Gene, to sort through the completed questionnaires for matches. He mistakenly thinks a woman named Rosie, whom Gene sends to his office, is a match from the questionnaire and asks her on a date. Chaos and humorous circumstances ensue from there. I quickly became endeared to Don and Rosie and hoped that they would both find what they was searching for. I would recommend this as a good fiction read that really sucks you in and takes you for an enjoyable ride.

Wow! Ten books! I doubt I will have such a high count in future months. Five fiction, four non-fiction, one comic. Not a bad distribution. I attribute the high number to the fiction. I can read multiple chapters in one sitting whereas with non-fiction I usually have to put the book down after each chapter to ruminate on what I've read. I'm excited that I've found so many engaging fiction books already this year. That's usually my biggest challenge. 

If you have read any engaging fiction, I'd appreciate a recommendation!

Reading More Books

I love to read! If you've known me for any length of time this is not a surprise. Reading is my chosen down-time activity. I tend to read more non-fiction books because I also enjoy learning new things and discovering new ways to grow in my personal and spiritual lives. I've implemented a new rule where if I am not hooked by the second chapter I put it down and move on to something else. Life is too short for okay or terrible books. This is probably why I read less fiction - those are harder to make the cut of worthwhile reading for me.

What our bookshelves currently look like.

Two years ago Jon Acuff encouraged his followers to participate in an Empty Shelf Challenge. He asked everyone to clear off a shelf on their bookcase, take a picture and then fill it with all of the books we read in 2014. I read a lot on my kindle so I created a pinterest page to compile everything I read. I ended up reading thirty books which isn't bad, especially when you have two young kids, neither of which were in school full-time.

This past year I decided to record my list of books again just to see how many I would read. I ended up finishing forty-seven books in 2015 (full disclosure: I read one book four times but I still think it counts because I read it start-to-finish each time). Random info: seventeen of the forty-seven were fiction.

I started a new list on my phone this year. In my mind my goal is fifty books. I know that's a lot but I really like to read. I've completed two books already but I had started them in December so it's kind of like cheating. I'm currently reading three different books - two on my kindle and one hardback (one fiction). My husband was teasing me because I informed him I had a "downstairs book". I prefer to read on my kindle in bed so I don't have to have the lamp on. I'm trying to keep hardbacks to daytime reading, hence my "downstairs book".

I thought as a new addition to my list I would like to write a short bit about what I got from the book in case someone was looking for recommendations. I read a lot of good ones last year but it's hard for me to remember all of the great things from them without a written record. I thought it might be helpful to make it a public record like with the Empty Shelf Challenge but I'm rarely on pinterest these days so I think this year I'll do a monthly post of everything I read in that month. I will end up with twelve posts of mini reviews.

In the meantime if you have any great books you'd like to share with me, I'm always open to suggestions! I'm willing to give nearly every genre a shot.