Last week I shared a bit of my struggle with humility thanks to the awesome study Seeking Him I'm doing with some ladies at church. This Sunday we had a guest speaker, Damian Boyd from Vertical Church in Atlanta. I had switched nursery duty with someone and was bummed to be missing him speak as I had heard wonderful things the last time he spoke at our church (which I somehow also missed). After service my husband told me that after last week's post about raising hands in worship I needed to listen to the podcast of his message. Last night I had a little down time so I pulled up the message on my phone and got comfortable on the couch.
Oh man! If you think you know God or love God or are doing it right as a Christian you need to listen to his message. Actually, if you are a person you should listen to his message. It was powerful. It was convicting. It made me sad that I missed it live but thankful for the wonders of the technology age. I will share a little bit of what struck me personally.
He talked about how stoic a lot of us tend to be at church. Some of us are afraid to sing for fear others will hear our less-than-melodic voices. I was there once (and sometimes still am). Some of us are not very demonstrative and keep our hands by our sides or in our pockets. I am there most of the time. Damian sliced right to the heart and asked if that's how we act while attending or watching sporting events (appropriate as it's football season). Ouch! I have been known to yell and cheer and clap for a sports team and yet I don't do that with the same free abandon when worshipping God. How is a team of people - broken, imperfect people I don't even know - worthy of devotion and honor and praise much more than a holy, perfect God who knows me intimately, draws me close to him, guides me and blesses me? Something is messed up here and it's me. If this is how I act am I saying that I don't believe God is worthy of all these things? Or do I not think that he is present in a group of believers? Am I treating church like a religious obligation instead of an opportunity to spend precious time with my Savior and show my adoration for him?
In light of this revelation my little "breakthrough" of moving my arms away from my sides seems like an offering of worthless junk. I can see now that I actually took pride in my "accomplishment". And yet it pales in comparison to what God deserves. Oh, that he loves us anyway! It is blowing my mind at how gracious and compassionate and loving God is. I am thankful that he loves us so much that he blesses us in our small steps toward becoming who we were created to be and fulfilling our purpose. The gap between where I am and where I should be is a chasm that I am beginning to see more and more clearly. However, God has given me hope and experiential evidence that he will help me cross it. I am so thankful for the sins he is revealing in my heart and the truth he is planting. I feel that I am in the midst of a great humbling experience with God and look forward to the blessings it will bring along the way.
There was so much more to this message that cut me to the quick. Perhaps I'll expound some more in a future post. For now I encourage anyone reading this to go listen to it. If you missed the link up top, here it is again: When God Is In Our Midst by Damian Boyd.
Do you worship God as extravagantly as you do when supporting another person in an event? Do you struggle with pride and humility in some way? Have you personally experienced God's grace?