When Do I Need God?

There are plans for our church to train some people to be lay counselors. When I first heard about this I was quite excited because one of my dreams has been to be a counselor. I have a bachelor's in Psychology but have not yet pursued a master's degree. I wasn't able to determine exactly which route to take (MSW or MAC) before my life veered in a different (and wonderful) direction. I have talked off and on with my husband about whether or not to go to grad school when the kids are older. So when I heard there might be an opportunity to pursue my dream in a slightly different way, I was interested in pursuing it.

Before service yesterday one of the women involved in this potential ministry asked me again about my interest and mentioned a potential timeline for it. While I was sitting in church I was thinking about how exciting the opportunity would be I also thought about how much I would need to seek God when I stepped into the role. I know that I have no wisdom of my own that can encourage someone exactly how they need it. I know that God will know exactly how he wants to use me in others' lives and I will need to faithfully seek him to do this. I was excited by this, by stepping into a role where I needed to rely fully on God. 

And then it hit me. Am I saying that I am doing all of my current roles in my own power? Am I saying to God, "I've got this marriage and parenting and friend thing"? Because I surely do not! I cannot have a thriving, loving, encouraging, supportive marriage in my own wisdom and power. I am naturally selfish to the core and that will not work for marriage. Nor can I raise two kids with the compassion, grace, love, and wisdom that will yield godly adults without seeking God daily (sometimes hourly). I am too prone to frustration, tiredness and impatience. Without God, I cannot truly care for another person (we're back to that selfish thing where I focus on my little world). I cannot have a deep, intimate relationship with someone that includes genuine concern, compassion and giving of myself and my time. 

Duh. Thanks, God, for reminding me that I need you right now. You have already given me more than enough to bring to you each day.

I'm still excited about the potential new opportunity, but right now I will refocus on seeking God in the roles I currently hold.