Reflecting on Ten Years of Marriage

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary! It doesn't seem like long at all but quite a bit has happened in that time:

• Moved to GA
• Started a new job
• Bought our first house
• Started playing tennis
• Adopted a kitten
• Changed jobs
• Took a babymoon to Aruba
• Won an ALTA city championship
• Had a baby
• Became a SAHM
• Published a book
• Had a second baby
• Sold our first house
• Bought our second house

Plenty more has happened in that time (trips, illnesses, concerts, book launch teams, baby milestones, made friends, lost friends to moves, made more friends, weddings, funerals, finished with diapers/potty training, etc) but I wanted to hit the highlights. I also thought it'd be fun to share a little of what I've learned during this time. So, without further ado...

10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

1. Painting rooms and making pizza with your spouse can be more stressful than you might think.

2. Vacations involving children or additional family are actually called "family trips". Vacations are truly vacations when it's just you and your spouse.

3. My husband gives excellent work/job/business advice and my work life goes more smoothly when I take it.

4. Living in a different state from family for the first few years of marriage is a great way to establish your new family life.

5. Having and parenting children away from family is quite challenging and exhausting.

6. Becoming parents changes nearly everything (and eventually you adjust and are okay with that).

7. Finding activities you both enjoy doing together is a great way to have fun and strengthen your marriage.

8. Honest, respectful, loving communication is essential in a healthy marriage.

9. It's helpful to remember that you are on the same team and are for each other.

10. How in need of grace I am and how thankful I am to have a husband who is gracious toward me.

I would love to hear things others have learned in their years of marriage. Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Acts of Love

  As I was folding laundry one day, I wondered whether some of the things I do as an act of love for my husband are noticed and received as such. This may seem like a random thought, but it's not. You see, my husband's socks are most often inside out when they are tossed into the laundry basket. When they come out of the dryer, they are still inside out. Each laundry day I make a choice whether to leave them inside out while matching them or turn them right side out. For a while I have been choosing to turn them ride side out because I determined that it was the loving thing to do and would make his mornings before work go more smoothly. I was curious as to whether this was noticed and also to know what little things I do make him feel loved. So I asked him, while also volunteering an example.

  I shared that I know he loves me because he calls me every day when he leaves work to give me an idea of when he'll be home and also to ask if I need him to pick up anything on the way. He responded that he knows I love him because I put his clean and folded laundry away for him. I then asked if he noticed I turn his socks right side out. I joked that he'd know I was mad at him when he started to find inside out socks in his drawer.

  I do think it is important to learn what things make your spouse feel loved and then try to do them regularly (not that I always succeed at this). It may be something small like putting away the clean dishes you find in the dishwasher. It could be something a little bigger like giving your spouse a massage gift certificate and time/opportunity to use it. Perhaps your spouse likes you to make time to talk or play a game with them. It would also help your spouse out to tell them what makes you feel loved so that they can reciprocate.


  Do you know what makes your spouse feel loved? Do you succeed in showing him or her love regularly? 

You're Doing It Right

Hurray for an empty seat!

I am a Stay-At-Home Mom to two wonderful kids. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be at home with them, teaching them and witnessing all of their milestones. There are many moments of joy in my chosen profession. Of course, as any parent knows, it's not all sunshine and butterflies. Some days are REALLY HARD! Days when the three year old seems to only have a high-pitched, whiny voice. Days when the baby decides he'd rather fuss than nap. Thankfully, all of the little joys - like when the baby gives a big belly laugh and squeal, and when the three year old plays tenderly with her younger brother and tells you she loves you - are able to erase some of the moments of frustration.

During those tough days, I can take these normal occurrences with small children and blame myself. I'm not being patient enough. I'm not spending enough individual time with the kids. I'm not teaching them how to properly deal with frustration. These are they days when I really need encouragement and hope. Days when I need to know that this part of life is a phase - both the good parts and the not so good ones. I need to know that my kids will turn out just fine and know that I love them. I need to know that I'm not alone in my struggle. I need someone to tell me that I am a good mom and am doing a good job. Thankfully, the Lord tends to provide these at just the right time. Sometimes a friend emails me someone else's blog post about motherhood. Other times I find a link on Facebook.  The most precious to me are when someone close to me speaks affirming words directly to me.

My husband is amazing. I have learned a lot more about his character since we've become parents together. He is so considerate of me, especially in my role as the primary caregiver of our children. Last week I was traveling home with the children via airplane. It was my first time trying to wrangle both kids on my own (quite an experience, but you'll hear more about that another time). It was going fairly well until lunch time. Here is the text conversation with my husband.


Me: Having lunch with [family]. So far not too bad [the trip - tempting fate, perhaps?].

PB: Nice. Have fun, tell them hello for me. Your flight is still showing on time according to the interweb.

Me (an hour later): BB chugged a bunch of water at lunch and threw up some of it. She's fine. I got a little wet.

PB: Funnn. On the bright side you might not have to go to the bathroom as much on the plane.

Me: I think I may smell a little. :-/

PB: If anyone asks, tell them it's the smell of the world's greatest mom.


I'm sure you can imagine how greatly that improved my mood and supported me for the remainder of our trip. Words are so powerful. I hope that you are aware of this and will strive to encourage others, especially moms. I know none of us who are already receiving too many kudos on the job we are doing.


What was the last encouraging thing someone said to you?