Trusting God's Timing

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you are probably aware that I have desired a mentor in my life to help encourage me in my various roles and to offer wisdom when needed (if you're new check out this post and this post for details). There was a woman who filled this role for me when my daughter was young. I've been without a mentor for about three years now and have prayed for an older women to be interested in encouraging me in my journey for about as long.

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The first experience was so positive and encouraging to me and has kept the desire for another relationship like this alive in my heart and mind. I do understand that the experience will not be the same due to a number of factors - I have changed in three years (though I'm still a SAHM with littles) and it would be a different person with different experiences and a different relationship with me - but the core of the experience should still be there (a woman further along life's journey who is genuinely interested in me and my life and is willing to challenge me in various areas of my life).

Last week I met with a woman who said that she was interested in being a mentor-type influence for me. It was a welcome surprise to hear her say this. I already felt comfortable enough with her to share without fear but my introverted nature desired this official permission to share all areas of my life - successes, struggles, questions. I'm so used to doing most of the listening in my relationships that it is so freeing and energizing to be invited to share myself. When someone seems truly interested in hearing what's going on with me I feel loved and supported.

The meeting was quite timely. There was a lot going on with me and I received encouragement and wisdom from this woman. I absolutely believe that this was God's answer to my prayer and that he set up the timing of this meeting and has been preparing our hearts for a deeper connection with one another. I am excited to see what God does in and through this relationship. He is so faithful!

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose...under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Still Struggling

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The day after I wrote my last post, my verses for the day's study were from Titus 2 where it talks about older women training younger women. I felt a pang of disappointment at not having this type of relationship. Even though I am choosing to trust God's timing, it's still difficult and has not removed my longing for this type of relationship. I thought I'd share my devotional for that day so that you can see what my personal study looks like.

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Titus 2:3-5

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Older women are instructed to actively encourage/teach/mentor younger women. Even in my thirties, I am considered an older woman to those in their teens and twenties. My five-year-old daughter is probably watching me to help establish her identity as a girl and learn what it means to be a woman, wife and mother. This means I should be very aware of how I present myself and represent Biblical womanhood.

Even though I can be an example for some, I still desire to have an older, wiser woman help me to be a better wife, mom and Christ-follower. My mother lives far away so it is harder to have this type of mentoring relationship with her. I know that God can develop all of these traits in me on his own, but I desire community and relationships with others and I still struggle.

I think that's the detriment of our mobile society. It's harder to establish and maintain close relationships. Many people live away from their families which removes them from having built-in community and support Humans were made for relationships. It's how we grow and thrive. Family will always be there - you can't get rid of them (good or bad). Friendships tend to be more delicate, vulnerable to time and distance. 

Lord, I am trying to trust you with my needs and relationships. I struggle so much in this area of close relationships. I don't know exactly what I desire but I know that you know what I need. You love me and will provide at the proper time. Amen.

One Struggle of a SAHM

Yesterday as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed I came upon a blog post from a stay-at-home mom. She was talking about how blessed she is to have someone come to her house and do a few hours of housework or babysitting every once in a while so that she can get out or clean or whatever. She mentioned the Titus 2 paragraph about relationships between older and younger women. As I was reading, I found myself whispering Yes!

Constant supervision is a must with a 1 year old!

I, too, am a stay-at-home mom. I, too, love my children and feel blessed to be able to spend the majority of my time with them. But, oh, how I would love a breather every once in a while. It would be so nice to be able to go to the grocery store alone during the day. Or head out to the post office. Or even just clean my house knowing that the kids are supervised. Yes, I have a husband who is willing to watch the kids while I run out in the evenings or on the weekends but he works all day too. He needs rest just as much as I do. And we both want to spend time together as a couple and together as a family. I usually feel rushed when I'm out and about if I know Adam is at home with the kids. I don't want to burden him longer than necessary.

It seems like it is becoming more and more common for families to live long distance from one another. That's our current experience which means that we get a break mostly when we hire a babysitter. Our families offers to watch the kids when we are all together either at our house or theirs but we see them so rarely I feel bad leaving them to go do something on my own.

For a long time I have felt that I shouldn't ask for help. This was my parents' situation when I was growing up - living far away from family and doing it all on their own (though maybe they did get breaks from kind, supportive people and I was too young to remember). Part of it is pride. I feel like I'm not "doing my job" if I'm not primary caregiver 24/7. But no one works all day every day without getting run down or slipping in their quality of job performance (note to self).

Now my mindset has shifted. I know that it is good for everyone if I accept offers of assistance. I am becoming more okay with receiving gifts of service with the knowledge that it is not a debt to be repaid but a blessing to accept with thanksgiving.


Any stay-at-home moms who would also like to be blessed like this? Anyone who has been blessed and would like to share? Anyone blessing a mom in this way? I'd love to hear about it!