September Goal Review

We are officially into fall and it's once again time to check in on my goals for the year. You can read about previous months by clicking the links: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August.

1. One arts and crafts time with the kids each month

  I wanted to do something fall related as I love the season but I didn't have a lot of time to come up with something. I decided it might be fun for the kids to make leaf rubbings so I gathered some leaves from around the yard. While they waited for me to get set up they worked on creating additional pictures. They seemed to enjoy leaf rubbing but it did not keep their attention long. .

I think J's favorite part was removing the paper from the crayons.

Self-portrait!

2. Blog at least twice per month

  For the month of September I decided to participate in all of the Friday Five writing prompts given over at MrsDisciple. I had fun writing about quitting as well as women and men I admire. The bookmarks post was fairly easy and did not require as much emotional involvement. The crying prompt, however, was challenging. It took me a bit to figure out what to write about. I am glad that I gave myself this challenge. I don't know whether publishing a post once per week is too much with all of my other responsibilities. I'm still working out all of my responsibilities and time management. I do enjoy writing and sharing I just don't want it to take away from my family. I also wrote a post about a great book I read recently.

3. Grow in gratitude, contentment and generosity

  I do feel like I have a more thankful heart toward God this month. I do still have negative mental rants here and there but it seems that a lot of my prayers include thanksgiving toward God for who he is, his faithfulness and his provision. I have written in my gratitude journal at least once per week. I am trying to appreciate the people in my life and the ways they bless and help me.

I love that my fall decor helps me to remember gratitude.

  I do feel fairly content with where I am. I am in a bit of transition at the moment but I am confident that God will bring me through and the result will be positive. I have what I need and appreciate what I have.

  I have been trying to continue to be generous to those around me with time, thoughtfulness, gifts, and encouragement. I could grow in the generousness of my grace and in thinking the best of those I come in contact with. I need to continue to believe that everyone is doing the best they can and that, if I am witnessing unkindness, then they must be having a bad day and the behavior is an anomaly. That's the kind of grace I would like to receive. I am not usually purposefully unkind or ungracious to others but I have bad days and bad moments.

  My verse memorization has fallen to the back burner. I love God's word and am encouraged by it but keeping this on my plate would be more stressful than helpful right now. Verse memorization tends to come in spurts in various seasons. I know I'll get back to it again for awhile and then take another break. I still know a lot of verses by heart that encourage me.


September's a wrap. How did the month go for you? Did you start a new goal? Let go of an old goal that is just too much write now? What did you accomplish or start in September that you're excited about? Tell me!

Why Do We Hesitate to Share and Celebrate Our Successes?

  This is my 100th post on the blog! I wanted to do something special to mark the occasion and celebrate. Initially I felt a little silly wanting to celebrate something as small as a blog post milestone, but then I thought, why shouldn't I celebrate? It's something I'm proud of accomplishing.

  It also got me thinking about how women often seem reluctant to celebrate things they consider to be an accomplishment because others might not see them as such. They are excited about achieving a goal but downplay it because they are afraid someone might try to squash their joy or belittle their accomplishment.

  It's not unreasonable to think that someone may try to undermine our excitement. Most likely it's happened to all of us at some point in the past and is why we are now hesitant to express our elation when we do something that fills us with pride.

  Why do we allow others to dictate how we ought to feel about an accomplishment? Additionally, why do others (or sometimes even ourselves) try to rain on others' parades of celebration?

  As parents we often encourage our kids to be proud of their accomplishments. They put their dishes in the dishwasher by themselves? High five! They learned to ride a bicycle without training wheels? Great job, let's send a video to Grammy and Grandaddy! They aced a test? Let's go for ice cream! We are so great at supporting and cheering on our kids.

First day of preschool!

  And kids are naturally excited about even the little things. They think everything is amazing and don't worry about tamping down their joy. I'm sure somewhere along the way they learn to tone down their excitement, possibly from their friends and/or the adults in their lives. I don't want to think that I might be responsible for my children's loss of enthusiasm about celebrating the big and little things in life. If they don't see me celebrating my successes, what picture am I painting for them about adulthood?

   So why do we tend to downplay our successes and accomplishments? Are we afraid of having joy over something because we feel that if we do, it is opening the door for something bad to happen to even us out? Bad stuff is probably eventually going to happen to us. That's life. Why not celebrate the good when we have it to help carry us through the challenges and set backs?

  Are we worried that celebrating our accomplishments might make others feel bad about not achieving the same thing? Some people do believe that when others succeed or achieve, that it is taking away from their ability to do the same. This is a fear of scarcity, that there won't be enough for everyone, but that's not true. There is room for everyone. We ought to see others' success as validation that achievement in this area is possible and an invitation for us to also attempt it. When one person strives and achieves, it should to give us all permission to do the same.

  Belittling others' accomplishments most likely stems from jealousy. We are working on our dreams and goals which is quite admirable. Other people may feel that they are unable to do the same so they try to keep us from succeeding or feeling good about our success so that they won't feel so bad about not making efforts toward their own goals.

  So, yes, some people will not consider publishing one hundred blog posts to be anything noteworthy, especially on a small, unknown blog like mine. But, to me, it's one hundred times I've sat down and worked on my writing. It's one hundred times I've attempted vulnerability and connection. It's one hundred times I've sought to encourage someone else on the journey of life. That's a big deal to me and one I find worthy of celebration.

Where the magic happens. :-)

  In fact, I want to encourage us all to be proud of our accomplishments and celebrate them whenever they happen. It's okay to be excited about reaching a goal or milestone. Our success does not mean failure for someone else. Celebrating our achievement does not mean we are gloating. It is inviting others to share our joy.

  We should celebrate and be excited with those who are celebrating. We should be inspired and encouraged by others' achievements. We should be cheering others on as they head toward their goals.

  Today I'm celebrating one hundred posts! What are you celebrating? Have you successfully lost 20, 30, 50, 100 pounds? Did you win a local sports competition? Have you had an article published somewhere? Do you get complemented on your children's good manners? Can your son tie his own shoelaces? Do you have a baby or toddler and were able to take a shower today? Did you land a big client or order for your company? Did you streamline a process at work or home? Please share one (or more) of your accomplishments with me so we can celebrate together!

  To make this more of a celebration, I am going to give away a few things to people who comment on this post with an accomplishment or success they've had. I will draw five winners at random on Friday, September 2nd to win one of the following items:

• A paperback copy of my book, Between Us Girls: Navigating College Life as a Christian Woman. (Yes, I published a book - something else I'm excited about having achieved!) 
  

• A hardcover copy of Choose Joy by Sara Frankl
  

• A For the Love leather bracelet from Noonday

• An orange beaded necklace
  

• Love Where You're Going journal/notebook
  

  I look forward to hearing about others' successes and accomplishments. Let's celebrate together!

Sixth Month Goal Review

We are officially half way through the year! I have worked on the same goals for six months straight. How have I done? I've recorded each month's summary. Below is June's record. You can read about January, February, March, April and May on the linked pages.

1. One arts and crafts time with the kids each month

This goal is one that makes me sweat a lot. I am not a crafty person so it's a chore to peruse kid-friendly ideas that we *hopefully* have most or all of the materials for. I didn't think this month would be bad because it contains Father's Day and I usually help the kids make cards for their dad.

Father's Day 2013

However, a friend of mine emailed a link to a DIY cat tent. It looked relatively easy and we had all of the materials so I thought we'd check that out. My husband donated an old t-shirt to the cause so this was a free craft (hurray!).

I had the kids decorate the shirt because it seemed like the most kid-friendly part for them. My daughter also tried to help curve the clothes hangers for the tent poles but it was too challenging for her.

Their final contribution was enticing the cat into the tent. They eventually found success.

Of course, we also made Father's Day cards.

2. Blog at least twice per month

This goal is also never easy to achieve. Now that it's summer it will be a bit more challenging to find time to sit down and write, as well as additional time to ponder topics I may want to write about. The first post was about sharing the themes of my current season of life. I did manage to get a second post in with a couple of days to spare. I have been listening to a couple of great podcasts and blogging about them seems to be my way to process them and share their personal impact.

3. Grow in gratitude, contentment and generosity

As you may recall, the first month of the year I tried not to spend any money on non-essentials. I had kind of kept up with that for a few months but the last two months I have kind of fallen off the no new purchases. I think it being summer and wanting to have some fun new things for the kids has contributed to that. They took swim lessons in May and I have purchased goggles and dive rings toward the cause of water confidence. I also am visiting my family for a few weeks and I tend to do some thrift store shopping while I'm here because 1) free babysitting so I can go without the kids, and 2) the prices and quality of items are excellent. (Actually, the only non-experience, non-food items I bought out west in June was a pair of dress shoes for J at a thrift store and three outfits for K on clearance - two for future holidays. Not too bad considering my normal habit.) I would also mention yard sales but we're not doing that until the July portion of my trip so I'm sure I'll cover anything I pick up at those next month. I will work on being more conscious about whether it is something to be used or simply an impulse buy.

I slacked off a bit on my gratitude journaling. I will blame it on end-of-the-school-year business but it's just an excuse. I still enjoy it a lot and feel like it helps me to be reminded of all that I do have to be grateful for as well as help address things that are on my heart and mind.

This month I read The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown and part of Wholehearted living, according to her research, is gratitude which is the source of joy. The book also encourages us to stop striving for acceptance and be ourselves, which I feel is intertwined with contentment.

We were hoping that an opportunity to move closer to family would open up for us, but it did not materialize. I was a little disappointed but it has encouraged me to seek to be content where I am and embrace what I have as fully as I can. It's an opportunity to choose contentment daily instead of thinking about something that may never happen.

I also read Marie Kondo's book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up which was even more motivation and encouragement to get rid of unnecessary stuff around the house and, hopefully, be content with and enjoy the stuff I currently have. The only problem is that I read it while I am on vacation away from the house so I have to hope the desire to declutter does not ebb before I get back home.

This month I worked on being more generous with my time - working on saying yes to things that are good and fun for my family and for others. I tried to be more willing to lay down my agenda and schedule and allow opportunities and others to receive more of my time. It's hard to say how successful I was but I can think of instances when I chose time with others over my own thing and offered to help with things that others needed done.


Here were my intended verses for the month:

Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Psalm 62:5-8  Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

You may have read my post this month about trust and rest. As you can tell, these verses address those themes. However, I got busy and distracted with summer break and getting ready for vacation that I did not make time to memorize both of them. The first one was short and easy and encouraging so I know that one. The second one did not get memorized. Fail. Plus I've probably forgotten at least half of the previous months' verses for lack of practice.

So, it took six months to slack on something. Not terrible. And it doesn't mean I won't hit all of my goals next month. Each day, week, month is different and I have to give myself grace when I can't do it all.


So, what goals were you working on in June? How did you do? How much more progress are you still hoping to have? What helps keep you motivated? Do you know what temptations are in your life that hinder your ability to achieve or improve on your goal?

Dreaming With an Open Heart

I have been thinking recently about dreams I have for my life, things I would love to do or to happen. I know we sometimes equate dreams with goals or bucket list items, but I believe those are all slightly different.

Goals are things I want to achieve and will take deliberate steps to accomplish. Some dreams could be labeled as goals but, often, dreams require more than just our own efforts to accomplish. Goals are measurable and you can usually determine ahead of time if you have the necessary resources to accomplish them. Yes, work is also required on our part for dreams, but even if we do all that we can, it doesn't mean the dream will be realized.

Bucket lists, to me, are kind of like fun to-do lists. Perhaps some people's bucket lists are lists of dreams but I think mine would most resemble a world map or adventure itinerary.

To me, dreams are heart-driven desires. I am more nervous about sharing my dreams than my bucket list because they are revealing and vulnerable. They tell others a lot about my heart. I have been thinking and praying a lot about it and have decided to share my dreams with you. I believe that bringing them out in the open where others can see them will allow God more room to move in these areas. He reminded me recently that the dreams he has placed in my heart (and, honestly, I don't know for certain which dreams are God-led and which are my own selfish ones), he will water and grow so that they will come to fruition at the proper time.

So, in no particular order, my current dreams:

• To be a writer (technically I am a writer now, but I am referring to receiving payment/compensation for my work)
• To write and publish another book (it'd be awesome to have an actual publishing house do it - see above dream)
• To go on a solo weekend retreat somewhere I can pray, see nature, read, write, be quiet and think (I've heard about monastic retreats which appeal to me)
• To attend She Speaks Conference, the writer/speaker conference held every July in Concord, NC
• A vacation with just my husband to a beach/island with great scuba diving
• A couple/family or several couples/families for true community (we like each other, enjoy each other's company, can share real/hard things and all make efforts to spend time together regularly)
• My kids to choose Jesus and desire to live for him (they are currently 6 and 3 but this is my number one desire for them)

There you have it. I don't know of any one thing listed that will happen this year. Next year, several have promise. I suppose that's part of why they are dreams. I know they are all possible but some of them I am powerless for them to happen (yes, I may have influence but I can't accomplish them in my own power) and so there is plenty of room for God to work. I am hoping and believing that all of these things will happen.

Are you willing to share some of your heart dreams with me? Are any of the dreams listed also on your heart as well? I'd love to know there is a kindred spirit out there. Together we can pray for God's work and provision for our dreams.

Fourth Month Goal Review

April has come and gone and it's once again time to check in on my goals for the year. You can read about January, February and March if you'd like. Without further ado, let's get to it.

1. One arts and crafts time with the kids each month

I wasn't sure what the kids and I would do in April. They both had their own ideas so I went with them. My daughter had received a Sofia the First sun catcher to paint in her Easter basket and wanted to work on that.

My son also wanted to paint and used the dot paint set we had to create a picture.

When those projects lost their interest my daughter decided she wanted to get out the art set she had received at her birthday and create a picture. My son had received a Paw Patrol coloring book at Easter and chose to color in that for a bit.

Finished creations

In between assisting them I decided to work a little on my photography, attempting to create images I could use on the blog.

2. Blog at least twice per month

I managed to achieve this goal again this month. I blogged four times. One was a book review for a launch team I was on. The others were just feelings and struggles and thought processes.

3. Grow in gratitude, contentment and generosity

A new friend introduced me to interactive prayer journaling this month. It is an opportunity to more clearly hear God speaking to you. It starts out by sharing your gratitude with God. My journaled gratitude has ranged from family and friends to medicine to the beauty of nature. It has helped me to remember that I have so much to be grateful for and, I think, has given me a more grateful attitude and heart.

I participated in a spring cleaning challenge in April which I thoroughly enjoyed. It helped me to clean out parts of the house I have been meaning to but kept putting off. I was also motivated by our neighborhood's yard sale at the end of the month. I cleaned out a bunch of clothes from my wardrobe, unused toys and too-small clothes from the kids (We decided the kids could keep the money earned from selling old toys and would use it as an opportunity to introduce the "give/save/spend" idea with money. Neither really understands the value of money yet, but perhaps it's at least a helpful start for the six-year-old.), baby things we no longer need and other miscellaneous things from around the house. Anything I couldn't sell in the fall children's consignment sale was dropped off at Goodwill after the yard sale. It felt really good to purge so many things from the house.

I didn't receive any feedback about whether sharing specific instances of giving went against the verse posted so I will once again be vague. We did give in addition to normal giving this month. I probably could benefit from increasing generosity with my time, specifically giving more undistracted time to my children.

Here are my verses for the month:

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. ~Galatians 3:26-28

I only ended up memorizing the above verse but it was technically three verses so I guess it counts. ;-) It was hard for me to get this one firmly in my memory.


So, tell me about your goals this month. What were you trying to do? Did you achieve it? Are you going to try again next month? Try something new? Fill me in!

Here In My Struggle

A week or so ago I admitted that I am in need of community. I feel like I have made efforts toward this goal off and on for quite some time. I have managed to have small communities - mom groups, tennis team, small groups, Bible studies - but they have all been for short seasons. I have not managed to hold on to a group where I really feel known and wanted for any real length of time. This does not suit my temperament. I am fiercely loyal, which can cause me to hold on to relationships longer than I'm supposed to, and thrive on deep relationships, which are not built overnight and probably another reason I try to hold on to the ones I've built even if the season has passed. It is a bit disheartening when one of these relationship ends (you could call them a best-friend type relationship) because there has been a lot of time and effort and vulnerability and courage poured into it. The thought of starting all over again is daunting and a little frightening. You never truly know if someone is safe for your truth until you offer it.

Anyway, I have been feeling lonely and a little discouraged lately and have been trying to figure out the reason for this current season. I believe that God has a purpose in this but am not sure what it is. This month I have been making plans with others to get together and work on forging stronger, deeper relationships and nearly all of them have had to be cancelled or rescheduled for a variety of reasons. I am thinking that God is behind it.

What is going on God? Are you trying to tell me something? Do I not really need community? Or am I trying to use community to fill something in me that only you can fill? Are you trying to show me that you are enough, that you are all that I truly need? Do I not think that you are enough for me? Are you trying to get me to dig in deeper with you, to seek you more, to become immersed in your word more? Do I need to grow in my intimacy with you? With my spouse? Do I need to be more open with my husband about feelings and struggles and needs? I feel like you and he are the only two relationships that consistently remain right now. I have a couple of meet ups scheduled the next two days and I feel like they are going to be cancelled too unless I can figure out what you're trying to say. And I know it's not some great mystery that is difficult to uncover because you enjoy my struggle. There is a holy purpose and I know I will learn it at the right time. Help me to trust you, your plans and your timing. Show me what I am missing. Give me wisdom and clarity. May your purpose be made clear and may you be glorified. Amen.

Punching Fear in the Face

I have been receiving emailed encouragement and challenges about pursuing dreams from author, blogger and speaker Jon Acuff for the last year or so. He has created an online group to help people take steps toward achieving their dreams and encourage one another along the way. It's pretty amazing to see the wide variety of goals and amounts of success people are achieving through small, consistent steps and large amounts of perseverance. Jon has a saying from one of his books, Start, that is kind of a mantra among the group. "Punch fear in the face."

As many of us are aware, fear is the biggest reason we hold back from pursuing our dreams - fear of failure, fear of rejection or criticism, fear of not having a valuable or worthy contribution, fear of not having what it takes to see it through, even fear of success. Fear can paralyze us and keep us from ever taking a step toward our goals. I know that I cycle through several of these fears when thinking about my dream of being paid to write.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yes, that is my dream. I have finally said it out loud to a public audience. I struggle a lot with feeling that I don't have anything new or valuable to contribute. I feel silly for thinking that I could be paid to share my thoughts. I have doubt that anyone would care to read what I might choose to say. I fear that if and when I do write, I will be rejected or criticized. Truth is, I know that these things will probably happen. People have differing opinions and not everyone will agree with my thoughts or find them useful or beneficial.

I can either allow these things to discourage me and keep me from writing or I can take this desire to write and continue to put myself out there hopeful that at least one person will be encouraged by my words. I have been writing for self-expression since I was in elementary school. It is part of who I am and choosing to squash it due to a bunch of "what-ifs" seems quite silly. 

I took a step today that required punching my fears in the face. I submitted an article for consideration for publication. I don't have confidence that it will be chosen but I am proud of myself for trying and putting myself out there for an honest review of my work. I am hoping for feedback that will help me in my writing and help me seek more opportunities like this. 

Do you have a dream you are working on? What steps have you been taking toward it?

Achievable New Year's Resolutions

   Last year I chose to make a goal (a New Year's Resolution, if you will) that was clearly defined, achievable and also somewhat enjoyable. I decided to make one new dessert recipe each month, twelve in all. It turned out to be pretty delicious! It was fun trying to decide what to make. Some months I tried to fit it with the general theme of that month - pumpkin whoopie pies in October (yummy!) and a green key lime pound cake in March (eh). They weren't all hits and sometimes I was scrambling at the end of the month to get one made, but I also learned how to make homemade whipped cream and found some keepers.

January: Glazed Lemon Cakes (yum!)

   This year I decided to choose a goal that also fit somewhere in my wheelhouse but could also benefit more than just my household. I like to write and I enjoy keeping up with friends and family. I chose 2015 to be the year I write (and mail) a handwritten note to everyone in my address book. As I was sending out Christmas cards in 2014 I realized that for quite a few people in my book it was my only communication with them and I found that rather sad. I'm changing that this year and we'll see what happens. Perhaps someone will respond and we'll resume semi-regular correspondence.

   So if you don't get a card from me by Jan. 6, 2016 (because if I am scrambling at the end of the year and don't get them into my mailbox until Dec. 31st it'll take a few days to get to the recipient), that means you aren't on of the 90 people/families in my address book. You are always welcome to send me your address to remedy this unfortunate circumstance.


  Have you set any goals lately? Do you set parameters that let you know if/when you achieve them? Are they realistic goals and/or parameters? Does fear of failure keep you from setting goals? Have you kept any New Year's Resolutions/goals from years past? I would love to hear about it!